A
female
age
30-35,
*mandaculger
writes:Hi, very glad I came across this site. Well, there is this girl that has been troubling me. The majority of my friends are male (please don't get the wrong idea about that) and she is friends with a lot of my close male friends and my boyfriend of two years.This is going to sound stupid but I feel as if she has replaced me and is trying to push me out of my friends lives. This girl is someone I personally don't want to become friends with. Let me get a little more in detail.I have tried to be nice and get to know this girl, and she is just not having it. She laughs at me and ignores me. She has made all of the effort in the world to become friends with all of my male friends in the group, including my boyfriend, and has made no effort to get to know me, knowing I'm a part of this friend group and in a serious relationship with one of the guys. She flirts with all of my friends and even my boyfriend, and is very sexual and has a crude sense of humor. I am the only female of the group, and I'm the only one she's mean to and seems to have such a problem with. She makes me feel so bad about myself. I have heard this girl talk bad about me and she tells people not to be friends with me anymore.Everyone seems to just love this girl because she gives them so much flirty and sexual attention (they are teenage males) and I feel like they are so into this girl and don't even care about me anymore. I'm not like her and I don't flirt and get sexual with them, I'm just not like that, but they seem to love it from her. I feel like I'm in some type of competition with this girl. I don't feel comfortable around her at all.I feel like such an outcast since this girl has come along. She's mean to me and I feel absolutely horrible lately. I continue to let her treat me the way she does and I just keep my mouth shut. She is a huge trouble maker and has been in so much drama with a lot of people, and I'm just tried of dealing with her.I have been such good friends with these people for years and now I feel as if I am losing them. Anyone know what I should do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): From personal experience, a good tip for you to remember is that guys hate drama. So if you start acting out towards this girl then it will likely backfire on you. As the other poster said, your only choice is to take the high road and completely ignore her. Play her at her own game and never say a bad word about her - it's hard but since she is telling people not to be friends with you, she'll look petty and mean for saying it if you're nothing but nice to her all the time. It's all likely to blow up in her face soon anyway, since she's being so flirty with them. It's only a matter of time before she pushes one of them too far, either by constantly teasing them and making no move, or by making the move and continuing to flirt with the others. Guys will rarely put up with that and she'll be out!
A
female
reader, Kyra23  +, writes (2 April 2013):
I totally see what your going thru! I lost an entire group of friends because of a girl like that.My mistakes:- I confronted her (it's difficult but don't do it)-Don't freak out, scream or throw a tantrum in front of your other friends (you'd never do it on purpose but if you lose control she's gonna label you moody or hysterical and you're scr*wed)You'll have to be pacient...ignore her discreetly give your friends attention (not the sexual kind, she's cheap and they'll notice the difference). Make fun conversations and if there's a theme she doesn't dominate talk abot that. Don't isolate: go to out to with the group even if it doesn't feel you like. Be indiferent towards her and if she makes fun of you act like you didn't get it so she looks stupid.It's time for you to push her out of the group! And remember: be classy!
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