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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my partner for a little over a year. When we first got together, we would constantly talk about sex and what we wanted to do with each other, sending each other dirty text messages etc and basically loving all the naughtiness. Now I find he takes no notice when I do that. We still have quite ranuchy sex though not as often as we did in the beginning. We watch porn together and he will still occasionally start off the dirty talk with me but I can't help thinking that when I do it, he kind of turns his nose up at me or acts a bit disapproving. I could be imagining things. I am very sensitive and take everything as a rejection so the fact he doesn't reciprocate to me is a bad thing. Should I stop trying to initiate this sort of thing or just carry on as I am and sending these messages as and when I feel like it regardless of whether he wants to play or not at that moment in time? I always respond when he starts being playful with me as I love it but it just bugs me that he won't always play when I want to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): I think you should actually talk to him about this first before you make any decisions on what to do. Ask him if he is bored with the old routine and find out if there is anything new that he would like to incorporate into your sex life to change it up. Make sure it is within your comfort levels, though. Never do anything you aren't too sure of. Also, when you ask him for his thoughts, make sure you don't come off as whining or nagging or finger-pointing. Avoid phrases like, "you dont ... anymore!" He will only turn defensive in this situation and then you won't get anywhere. Instead try something like, "I know things are getting a little routine, so I was wondering if there was anything you maybe wanted to try out." That should definately get the wheels in his head turning. I hope this has been of help to you. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out okay. Stay sexy!
~RJGirl
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