| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I've been with my boyfriend for two years he's been seperated for 4 yrs and is getting a divorce. He's very affectionate and kind, I believe we could have a future together except I feel he lies about certain things. I live about 1.5 hrs away from him and I work alot so we usually see one another once a week. He has had some alcohol problems in his past and has been dishonest on occasion that he was sober until I heard from his brother stating he had been drunk for 6 days. He tells me he has a job when I ask his schedule he said it's "flexible" he basically works when he wants to. To me that doesn't sound right. He told me he bought a home then his brother told me he never did. He emailed me yesterday and said he lost a girl that was a friend ( she passed away) then he disappeared for 12 hrs. Any advice?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (4 April 2016):
 Something clearly isn't right here and I think you know about that.
These aren't simply white lies, these are bald-faced, alternative reality type of lies. The fact that he lives 90 minutes away means to me he could have an entirely different life than what you think he has.
Why do you find this guy attractive? In the first few lines you've told us:
1) He is a borderline alcoholic, if not full-blown alcoholic
2) He is technically married.
3) His job doesn't sound particularly stable
What exactly do you know about him other than he is kind? And why are you with someone who keeps you questioning about what he is all about? And what does this say about you?
I think there is a lot more to this story than you are telling us. Either way, I do hope you take some time and ask yourself if this is the type of man you REALLY want in your life and how much do you really trust him.
Eddie
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2016): I see red flags all over the place here. This man has a drinking problem, doesn't work and lies to you. Until he admits he has problems, especially the drinking which is likely to be the reason he can't find work, he'll be no good to anybody, including himself. Your future with him will be supporting a lying drunk. I speak from experience.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 April 2016):
 I think you should let this one go. He is lying to make himself in to someone he is not. It sounds like he still has a drink problem and only he can get himself out of that. I think you might be best letting this boat sail.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 April 2016):
 I think he is not really ready to date seriously yet, and his behavior shows that clearly. He is still dealing with his past baggage and I think the lies are part of him trying to make himself look better than he really is.
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