A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so im sorry for the poinless detail here, but i just cant understand whats going on anymore, im a total mess and im so confused! back in september 08, i met a guy, i was out in town one night (not out drinking or anything, just generally out) and he was waitin at a bus stop, i whistled at him as a joke, and he ended up coming and talking to me and my friend. i thought he was absolutly drop dead gorgeous! and i told him so haha, he called me flirt and told me i had come to bed eyes and a nice chest! which at first i thought was abit shallow lmao, but we ended up swapping numbers and met up a few times! i was 16 at the time, he was 20.. in october we got together, he asked me out and things were goin great, i actually had never felt like this with anyone else before, (i was previously with someone for 11 months, who i thought i loved, but this was way too much better!) after just 6 weeks of been with him, i couldnt stop thinking about him! there was just 'something' there, we got on so well! well on valentines day, he took my virginity, i had never felt so amazing, everything seemed to be going great! then in april 12th, on the day of my birthday, he decided to tell me, (basicly; sorry but ive found someone else, and i dont wanna be with you anymore) i have to admit it totally gutted me! i felt like someone had just stabbed me in the gutt. for just over a week i did nothing but cry, i didnt sleep, i couldnt eat, i didnt go out. it was horrid! then he text me, telling me that he regretted finishing it, there actually wasnt another girl and he loved me.. i fell for it, we got back together and it was as if everything fixed itsself! three days after been back together, he told me he wanted my baby, he was mature and he was settled and he wanted us to create a baby! then because i told him i wasnt ready for a baby! basicly said, i couldnt bring myself up, let alone a child! he finished me again. called me a waste of space! again i felt like id been kicked while i was down. then on and off in june we met up a few times! i always ended up sleeping with him, i got into a bit of trouble with my parents, and they kicked me out over night, i stayed with him. it was asif he was always there for me, and even though i knew he was using me, i love/d him.. and i always went and to be honest i think i would go back to him.. and its ruined me! totally. i was out about a fortnight ago with a friend, and *coincidently* we saw him, near my house, although he lives like half an hour away! and there was no reason why he would be near mine.. n then suddenly i got a prank phone call, ive been gettin alot of prank phone calls lately, and i know its him! but id of thought that at 21 he would have been a little more mature?! ive seen him a few times out and about.. and hes text me a few times saying 'whos this' etc.. even though he knows its me! ive told him to grow up and leave me alone, ive even changed my number, mainly because i went on contract, but i ended up meeting him and giving him it! i just feel like the more i think about him, the worse it makes me feel. im sat like a dick with tears bigger than peas rolling down my face! i got the sack because of him, because i was getting snappy with the customers and was in a world of my own, i would be serving someone and would suddenly burst out crying! ive been torn away from my parents pretty much, because they say i have suddenly got this bad attitude. and i just feel like i cant trust anyone now! i honestly dont know what to do, i feel like total sh*t, i feel like i really dont wanna live anymore. and i cant get rid of him, he wont leave me alone, but he wont be with me.. im so confused! please someone help me )':
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Hun he's used you i know you've been blinded by love and he's 21 he's a guy most guys don't mature until later on in life girls are more matured than guys.
he's always going to have a hold on you and you need to get past this i know it's hard i mean he's wrecked your life.
if he keeps contacting you inform the police and get his number blocked.
he's harrassing you it's a crimnal offence.
i mean do you really want to be with someone whose ruined your life basically?
he's gotten you kicked out he wanted to get you pregnant but because you were responsible about it saying you wouldn't be able to bring one up he ended it
that there shows how pathetic he really is he should respect you as a young girl if he loved you he'd have waited for you he knew how infatuated with him you were and he knew how to play you and tug at your heart strings.
it's unfair on you because you know he's always got that hold on you and you know if he said to drop everything for him and be with him he knows that you would do it!
it's not fair on you because then you'll never be able to move on.
but i highly suggest you tell your parents about the way he's being so they are aware of his behavior and aware of the reason as to why you're being different towards them.
and definately get his number blocked and inform the police of his harrassment.
Hope this helps
x ilovebowsandcherries x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): You need to report this to the police and I am not kidding. This guy is abusive and a perv. To think he is telling underage girls he wants to make a baby with you!
He is breaking the law having sex with you, you are a minor and he is classified as an adult. Laws like this are to protect kids like you who do not have the life experience to make good judgements about people and sex. He is someone who was able to manipulate you in this inappropriate way.
First tell you parents what you have done and what he has done and then call the police and report him before he hurts any other children.
I am sorry you don't want to hear that, but you are a child and this guy is a sexual predator, someone you should absolutely stay away from and never see again, ever.
You are not a worthless piece of crap, he is my dear. He is absolutely in the wrong.
Now about you. Perhaps your relationship with your father or both your parents is not as it should be, maybe you are rebellious and they yell and punish you for it. This makes you vulnerable to the attention of "gorgeous" guys who whisper in your ear because you don't feel very good about yourself. What I want you to do is to try and verbalize, to put into words your feelings to your parents, how you feel about yourself and why and ask for their help. Tell them you want to be able to talk to them about anything and you are realizing you do need their help and guidance, not criticism and see where that gets you. If you can heal your relationship with them, I promise you you will feel better about you and you will never let someone like him take advantage of you again.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, armywife_gtmo  +, writes (13 July 2009):
well since i was once that age i know how it feels, but is it lust or love? i think this person is like a parasite suckin the life out of you and tearing you away from people who really love you like your family and friends.. try to do new activities and meet new people and just be yourself and try not to do things that will bring up the past...i know you will be just fine
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