A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my girlfriend for a year and a month now. last night i cheated on her, i dont know what came over me. i feel so ashamed and guilty since my girlfriend is so amazing. i do love my girlfriend and she loves me, ive been thinking i should keep quiet and just bare the guilt. if i tell her it will break her heart and the relationship wont be the same. i cant stop thinking about it though and i dont really know what to do. please can u give me some advice? thankyou Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): tell her the truth and soon. If she feels you kept this secret from her for a long time it could make things worse.
How would you feel if she had kept this from you?
I know it will be hard but if she thinks your genuinly sorry and she loves you - you never know she might be prepared to forgive you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): You have to tell her because she has a right to know what kind of person she is in a relationship with. Don't cheat her out of the truth. Don't be sneaky. Lying makes everything worse and nothing better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Following on from Dr-Mels answer - make sure the cooked meal has cooled down. Hot spag bol over your head could be painful
Phil
(:o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Every one of these answers are correct...however, you SHOULD tell her the truth, but do it in your own time and when your ready. You could cook her a meal and sit her down to tell her. and dont forget to tell her how ashamed and guilty you feel and promise her you wont do it again.
Im sure she will forgive you
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hi,
Sorry but I agree with Egghead. If she finds out from someone else in the future she will be devastated. You cannot go through life, doing things like this, without Consequences. And besides she needs to know why you did this to her in the first place, was there something wrong or lacking in your relationship?. If she loves you that much she will give you hell then forgive you. Personally I dont know anyone this has happened to, and they have said honestly, I wish I hadnt known.
I hope you work out, but you should do everything you can to make it up to her if she gives you another chance.
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A
female
reader, Sarauk +, writes (30 October 2007):
It sounds terrible but I say if there is no way she will find out and you can forgive yourself, don't tell her. You wil only break her heart. Nothing good will come from a confession, particularly since you clearly regret what you've done. Forget about it and move on. You made a mistake.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): The simple fact is that your relationship won't be the same whether or not you spill the beans on what you've done. You know you've cheated and that will always be at the back of your mind. She'll probably feel that something is not quite right and she won't know what unless you tell her, although she might posssibly guess the truth.
Ask yourself if you would want your girlfriend to own up to it if she cheated on you. Think carefully. Whichever is the answer is what you do now.
Phil
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hi there.
One of the most important things in a relationship is Honesty.
Firstly - look at yourself. Why did you cheat on her?
Take this from a former Cheater, Once you've reached the point where you cheat on someone, things are already broken in your relationship. Tell her the truth. Tell her why you did it, and tell her how you think your relationship is affected by your deed. Your are correct in saying that she will be hurt. This is only normal, however if she can forgive you it is Great. Don't expect anything from her. You've done wrong, and must now face the consequences - whatever they might be. If she chooses to forgive you, give her time to work through it, and work damn hard from your side to make it up to her.
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A
female
reader, angelblueeyes +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hi,
It does happen often so your not alone, but i don't think sitting at home with your conscious eating away at you is the way to go, bad things have a habit of making an appearance so to give your g/f the respect she deserves i think you should tell her the truth she will respect you in the end for not lying, this will hurt deeply & may ruin your relationship but its the right thing to do. If your relationship is strong enough with a lot of hard work you will get thro it, i cheated on my husband many yrs ago he knows all & we're still together so it is possible if you really love each other! Hope that helps you, take care
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