A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused_in_luv07
writes:me and my boyfriend been going out for 11 months about to be a year on march 22,2007 and at first our relationship been going great. well i fell in love with him and got to the point where he asked me to marry him. i said yes! well now i am getting to the point where i know he cant trust me he's a very jealous person and its not that hard to hide. i am in love with him we just argue soooooo much i am not sure on what to do.I want to stay with him but our relationship feels like its falling apart and now i am confused on what to do will you give me advice on what to do with my relationship and how to save it
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (1 March 2007):
 I think you're awfull young to be thinking about marriage! But if you want this relationship to work, you need to take things slow, don't do anything rash and work through the problems. Don't get rid of him or marry him yet, see how things go and whether these problems can be solved. If they can't, you have to leave him: men like this only get worse as years pass and eventually, it may turn to violence.
You need to get him to get some help for his issues. He is obviously jealous and insecure and needs some professional help with this. Issues like this come from our childhood and experiences we didn't even realise affected us so badly so we cannot sort them out without someone who knows what they're talking about to help us find out.
If he is not willing to do this, you have to leave him. If he doesn't want to sort these problems, he doesn't want the relationship to work and doesn't deserve for you to stick around. If he realises he needs help then maybe this can work out. But you are young so keep your options open, you never know what's round the corner.
Good luck
A
male
reader, Cauthorn +, writes (1 March 2007):
Sorry to hear about your situation, the green-eyed monster known as jealousy is a rough thing to deal with.Since you've been going out for eleven months, and, as you claim, both seem to have an equal feeling of love for each other, I'm going to suggest you do nothing more than talk to him about it. There's no powerful a tool like talking when it comes to situations like these.Ask him what you're doing to make him feel jealous. Maybe it's not even you, maybe it's something that other people are doing. Either way, I think you need to find out what he's jealous about.Sometimes I've seen my friend's boyfriends or girlfriends get extremely jealous just because someone has said hello to him or her. If that's what this is about, well, then you need to talk to him and assure him that he's the one you want to be with. Simply talking to other people and making conversation doesn't mean that you're shoving him out of your life for someone else.No matter what's going on, you need to talk to each other about it. I'm sure if he loves you as much as you claim to love him in return, he's going to listen to you no matter what you're talking about, especially when it pertains to the relationship that involves the one he loves.Best of luck :)
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