A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months, we want to move in together. I'm willing to move away and take my 3 kids with me. My eldest doesn't want to go, she's 15, which would mean me going without her. This is a big sacrifice for me with leaving her and everthing I know. I asked him if he would move to where I am, but he doesn't want to leave his son nor his family which makes me think he doesn't love me as much as he says, after all he lives in a bedsit and his son lives with his ex wife. I'm not sure what to think and whether moving away to be with him is the right thing to do. He is still married and also has a baby on the way with another woman, I've recently aborted his child and found out I have hep c, although I've never used drugs. I just don't know what to do for the best and feel like I'm making all the sacrifices when I've got enough to deal with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): Leave your own child for a guy you've only known for four months? I'm sorry, but it seems the answer is pretty obvious here. This guy kinda sounds like bad news. Don't move in yet, just see how things work out for at least another year. Do not sacrifice your daughter for this man. You will regret it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): I forgot to add (below, the woman who left her two children) that I, too, have HCV. I fall into none of the risk groups and do not know how I contracted it. I can say that after taking the recommended medications for nearly a year, the virus is at undetectable levels in my body. This is a condition you can live with, but you have to do your part. Besides following your doctor's advice, the number one thing you can do to help your body is DO NOT DRINK! May you decide well and live well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): I left my 11 year old son and 15 year old daughter for the sake of a relationship. The vision of driving away from them and seeing them in their driveway watching me go (with absolutely unbelieving looks on their faces) haunts me to this day. It was, without question, the worst decision of my life. The sadness, guilt and depression were overwhelming and, 12 years later, still are with me. My children have cautiously allowed me back into their lives and I am doing everything I can to make it up to them and to myself. Here is the kicker: the man was worthless. Do not do this thing. If you love yourself and your children, find another way, or better yet, another man.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 January 2009):
 Here's a really comprehensive look at Hepatitis C: http://www.webmd.com/hepatitis/hepc-guide/default.htm
Sorry if this information is redundant and you know all about this already; I'm just concerned that you take care of yourself as well as not accidentally pass it on to someone else. That would be really irresponsible, to my way of thinking.
Good luck with everything, this is a tough time for you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 January 2009):
I'm not sure what the rush to move in together is. You've only known him for 4 months, and that's really not enough time to truly know him. Your children deserve a stable home and are entitled to complete their school year, at the very least.
You say he's impregnated another woman; he is responsible for that child and has to financially support it. I'm a bit worried about you medical condition. You say you've been recently diagnosed with Hepatitis C, which by the way, you do not get from food. (That would be Hepatitis A.)
Hepatitis C is a virus that can cause serious liver damage. You need to follow the instructions your doctor has given you regarding follow up visits, blood work, and you must also be very conscious of the risk of you spreading it to another person. This is very important.
Here are some informational websites about Hepatitis C for you to read. If you have not been counseled by your doctor or nurse, please ring them for a followup visit. This is really really important. You do not want to give this virus to your children or to your boyfriend either. For example, you must not share toothbrushes with anybody. There are other precautions you should be taking as well.
http://www.webmd.com/hepatitis/have-hepatitis-c
http://www.webmd.com/hepatitis/need-know-c
Slow down on the co-habitation plans until you both know that you are THE ONE for each other. (As he is still married, he is not free to remarry. Thus, right now, it's obvious he cannot be THE ONE right now.) Otherwise, you are disrupting your children's lives, only to have them disrupted again if things do not go well.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): I think you need to assess your priorities. I'm the same age as your daughter, and it would seem she is being the sensible, level-headed participant while you are behaving like an infatuated teenager. Sorry to be blunt. What is more important to you, your daughter's happiness or a married man who cheats on you and, quite frankly, sounds like an idiot? I would give him an ultimatum. x
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