A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya, latley im feeling a little alone. Dont get me wrong i do have friends, but when i try and talk to them about how im feeling all i get just forget about it. Im 23 and never had a proper realtionship. Dont get me wrong iv had realtionships but theyve never been serious and never lasted longer then 3 month. It isnt that i dont get boy attention as i do, at 1st i didnt want anything serious and was just having fun but now i do want more. I dont know if its the way i am or the way i look (make up, tan, long hair, but do it for me no1 else) i just cant put my finger on it. I feel as if im going to be alone all my life how can i snap out of this depressing stage and thing more positive help :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): I've had days feeling like you are! I'm 25, my longest relationship was 5 years from when I was 15 to 20. I missed a big chunk of 'growing up' single, not that I would change it as it made me who I am. I have been out with people that I have thought are 'the one' and then they've been completely different in the long run. I know it's hard, a lot of my friends are settled down and sometimes I feel like they're 'single' friend. People are always telling me how lovely I am aswell but you've got to believe it inside. I've started to concentrate on my needs a bit more and it seems to work. Don't settle because you feel lonely, invest your time in other things and trust me, romance will knock when you least expect it (cliché but true!) Good Luck hun xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): Whoa! You just kicked me in the heart. I was dumped a few months ago, and I was saying the same thing to myself. Oh, my sweet baby girl, I'm finally getting over those feelings! You need time to focus on yourself, not some guy.It's just a slump. Everybody gets them. I don't care how hot you are. We all get that proverbial slump. No action, fleeting attention from people who just want to hookup for sex, and our friends repeat themselves like broken records."It'll get better. Blah! Blah! Blah!" Seriously!? They're whispering behind your back. "She's so pitiful unless she has some man to prop her up. Sad isn't it?"What else can they say? We're being downers. They're going to run and hide every-time they see you coming. They get tired of hearing you whining. They've been there too. Well, girlfriend. Just like the Wheel of Fortune turns down, it turns up at some point. Don't let things get you down. You have to stay upbeat even when you haven't seen the sun for days. You know it has to come out sometime. Right?Well, when you're on downtime; that's when you regulate your diet, do some reading, up your game, and go to the gym.Yes, get them hips firm, that waist slim, and redefine those curves. Wish I was there, I'd push you off the couch!You said you're keeping busy. Are you? You have a lot of time to remember how lonely you are. You better be creative.Do you define your life by whether or not there is a man in it? If you do, sit down and run that question through your mind. You don't have anything else to do.Make use of your downtime. Otherwise, you'll get lazy, you'll feel sorry for yourself, get on your friend's nerves, and your mother will start nagging you about dating the geeky sons of her friends. Telling you about all the wrong guys you've dated, and give you a big dose of " I told you so's!" She'd be right. Don't you dare tell I said so. Worse, she'll start hounding you about all your past mistakes when she sees you moping around at the house. Idle and laying about. She'll compare you to your married friends, and your sisters or cousins. What they did right, and you did wrong.You know it's not your fault, but if you were out and about keeping busy; you'd have an excuse to ignore her call messages. You'd be immune to criticism. I threw all this chatter in for humor, but you can relate to it.**CHESHIRE CAT SMILE!**If you look over your shoulder in the mirror and see a super big booty, you've been sitting on it too long. You have to surrender some of that blubber to exercise.Keep most of it, it looks good in jeans and tight skirts.Oops, my bad if you're skinny! Eat all you like if that's the case. Time to get on your feet and find something to do other than worry about guys. They like round booties, but not when they don't flex when you walk in heels. Yes, that's what they're looking at when you catch them watching a chick walk by. However; work with what you have; even if it's flat. We all have physical assets; even if if we don't have a butt. Flaunt what you have,baby! Just don't let the couch turn whatever you do have, into something indefinable. No more self-pity. That's rubbish!Fill the time you feel lonely with activity. It's given to you as a gift. Your existence is not centered around having a man. If you can't feel up when you're alone, that means you're dependent, clingy, desperate, and have boring friends. No life.So, you have to realize happiness isn't having a boyfriend. Happiness is being able to weather the storm when you don't have an umbrella. Being able to kill the funk by creating your own atmosphere, when the air is too thick and hard to breath. Fill the quiet air with music, redecorate the flat, buy yourself flowers, and make a new friend. The old ones are all worn out, they've heard you whining and need some time off.Buy a new dress, a pair of jeans. Hang them in the closet until you realize, life begins when you decide to live it. I have. Now is my opportunity to cheer you up!I was where you are a few months ago.The only person on this earth responsible for your happiness is you. You know what you want. You know what you like. So do it for yourself, and leave room for someone else to share it. It's your outlook that makes life liveable, not whether you have a man or not.You're hearing this from a gay man; but I know what it feels like when nights are lonely and the phone doesn't ring. When your friends don't call because they're too busy, or they feel depressed listening to you. When you wake up in the middle of the night, wondering if your ex is thinking of you, or just humping and breathing on top of someone else. Life goes on. With or without you. You're only in your twenties for crying out loud. What's your problem, madame?You'll get through it. Use the time off to do good things.Even if you have to go visit an old auntie in her smelly old flat and have some tea; and listen to her old stories.They love when you ask them for advice. Just make sure you tell them you have something to do, or you may end up spending the day, changing cat litter, and running errands. Do it, you have nothing better to do. Go see if your granny could use a hand around the house. Maybe you don't like your family. Now's a good time to go rebuild a few bridges.Hope I made you smile, if nothing else!
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (4 October 2013):
 Being alone has nothing to do with how you look. As you say you still do get boy attention.
I think it's alot to do with how you are feeling inside.
You feel there is something wrong with you.
So because of that many potential partners can sense your lack of confidence and pull away.
Try changing your attitude and feeling about things.
To find a nice guy takes time and your still young.
Know that you will make a good partner, focus on your nice qualities and speak to your friends to have some support.
Just because you dont have a guy is no reason to be alone.
It means you have more time to spend loving yourself and doing the things you enjoy. Take advantage of it and everything else will fall into place. That guy will come along when you are not waiting around for him or feeling lonely.
Goodluck!
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