| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel a compelling need to win some person like a trophy and bring it to my family to show it off to other people. My parents treat me as the same and i hate being treated like an object. There is no room for feeling and sympathy, but only for sexual gratification, power and lust. Please advice, how can i feel safe of not being considered a trophy and treating others the same. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): When you are only interested in winning a girl as a trophy, then your relationship will be a shallow one, and will either last only about three months, or will be an unhappy one.
I understand that your background has been difficult for you and this is why you think you are having this issue with women.
However, I don't think that knowing why is going to help you much. My recommendation for you is to find a good Cognitive Behavioral Psychologist or a Behavioral Psychologist and enter therapy for a time, so that you can behave your way out of this, and get some new thoughts going about relationships. It will be the best thing you ever did for yourself and your future happiness is at stake here, so get some help from a professional.
A
female
reader, mum2be  +, writes (18 June 2007):
firstly, you you have done the hardest thing in admiting your problem, now you need to work on it. What i would do is try to get to know the person you want as a friend first... get to know what they like, who they are and who they want to be... then go out with them... but try not to have sex for at least a couple of months. Hopefully, you will be able to show her off... for the right reasons.
I am sorry you feel like you were treated like a trophy... have you tried talking to your parents about it?
I dont usually recomend this, but maby some controlled rebelling could be useful... for instance, if you are in a situation where you feel like you may be treated like a trophy, try to get out of the situation.
i am sure you can do it, you are still young!
keep me updated.
xxxxxxxxxxx
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