I fancy my boss, kissed another guy, and have a boyfriend already!

I know you say about questions being too long, but for you to understand there's a lot of background. Please help me, I'm desperate and have no one to help me. I have a very confusing problem. I started liking this guy who is far too old for me, but he makes me feel great, comfortable, secure. He's got a girlfriend, we talked and he said that he more than fancied, but he wouldn't leave his current girlfriend because he preferred her. He's my boss, and although I'd already stopped really liking him, when he told me he felt more for me, my old feelings came flooding back. I was upset and when to talk to another friend who I suspected liked me. I felt terrible, and flirted a little, and then he said he wanted to kiss me. So I told him to, but while we were kissing the boss I fancy, and my other boss came in. I was so embarrassed and felt like such a child that I ran away and cried, when I came back the boss I fancy (call him Will) guessed and took me outside and I explained that I felt stupid, pathetic, embarrassed and childish. He got my other boss (jill) to come and say thats she didn't see me differently, and she wouldn't tell anyone. Then the guy I kissed came out and said that he wanted to know if there was something between us, clearly from my reaction there wasn't, but that he still wanted us to be good friends and that he didn't see me any differently. So around Jill I pretended nothing happened, and I've text both of the guys in an attempt to laugh the kiss/me thing off. So firstly, I don't know what to do, secondly if Will preferes his girlfriend I told him that that would mean that if he and his girlfriend were in his eyes better together and so I would just be a replacement. I refused to be a replacement, and have told him that in my opinion I can't see a future if he doesn't prefer me to his girlfriend now. He says that's not fair and that he's known her a lot longer, it may be true. But i still feel like i would be second best and that therefore we would have no future. To make matters worse, I kind of have a boufriend who lives far away from me, and is planning on moving back to his own country but goes on about staying here because he cares for me so much, I don't know how I feel about him. What do I do, I'm desperate for help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006):

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