A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a date with a guy and we didn’t kiss at the end of the date. He then went away for 4 weeks and we were in contact daily and would talk on the phone for hours. He came back recently and we had dinner at his place. He kissed me first and we then made out a little. I was always in control and when I stopped he did as well. We’ve got plans to go out again soon.One thing that bothers me is that I don’t want him to think that I’m ‘easy.’ I’ve told him before that I’m not that type of girl and he seems to understand. Do you think that this little make out session (clothes on offcourse and hands didn’t go to strange places lol) was sending him the wrong message about me? I would never get this close to a guy on a second date but this wasn’t really a second date as we’d already spent hours on the phone while he was away getting to know each other, and our conversations got quite deep.I’m also really attracted to him but I just don’t know where the line is between seeming too easy and seeming too reserved. I don’t want to push him away because I do want him but I also don’t want to go too fast because I don’t want to ruin things. Please don’t say do what you feel is right…I don’t know what is right, on the one hand I'd go all the way with him but I do realize that doing this would ruin my chances of a relationship with him. Do I say something to him? I have no idea!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Wow, are you from the 1940's? Did you ever see the movie with Brendon Frasier and Alicia Silverstone called "Blast from the Past"? It's great, go rent it. He is a traditional 1950's kind of guy, polite and proper and he meets Alicia Silverstone, an experienced valley girl in her 20's. But I digress...Easy??? Not even a little. Don't sweat it.You can sit him down and explain to him that you want a relationship that moves more slowly and at a pace where you can see how things are going emotionally. Just explain that you aren't one for booty calls or one night stands. You need to be sure your lover can also be your best friend.But don't be too much of a control freak either. Guys like girls who are relaxed and approachable, not all pent up and inhibited.Kissing and hugging are not going too far if you feel it is okay. So far you have been doing just that so subconsciously you must be okay with it. You will go only as far as your desires will let you.
A
female
reader, Twistedbaby420  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 I do not think that you were sending him the wrong message at all by making out with him. As you stated, the two of you had gone out before, stayed in contact with one another, and went out again. If you're worried about coming off easy, I would take things slower. Keep going out on dates and doing things together, maybe let things get a little heavier each time...
Oddly enough, studies have shown that when people have sex on a first date, their relationships often last longer. Fun little fact :)
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A
male
reader, noodles13 +, writes (27 August 2009):
Hey, In my opinion, just keep hanging out with him, and see where it goes... Just because you made out with him once, doesn't mean you have to step it up to the next level the next time you hang out with him. If you feel like you'd ruin the relationship by hooking up with him this early, then don't do it. Just be yourself, if you find that you two are taking things farther than you are comfortable taking it at this point, then let him know. If he has a problem with that, then he's probably not good enough for you anyways... Good Luck with Everything!
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