A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have this thing in that I fall for girls really easily and it is really annoying, by this I mean that within the first 2 meetings with someone I find myself thinking about them all the time and really liking them. Also like just being really close for about 30 mins does it too, like I could be lying down on the field with someone just like holding them or their hand and I will go home that night and find I really like them. How can I change this as I don't like this about me is there anything I can do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 You are in love with love rather than stepping back and looking and listening and getting to know the real girl in front of you.
It's romantic and beautiful that you put these girls on a pedestal and romanticize everything about them. But is is not completely realistic. You feel all the emotion of them close to you. You love voice, their smell, their face, their vision of loveliness before you. And I suspect that you hone in on the very best aspects of each girl and make her feel great too.
However A little more pragmatism will protect you from being hurt or misguided by a mirage.
You can still lavish your adoration on your ladies. But please try to observe a little more. Listen carefully. Ask a question occasionally. Try not to be too gullible. A girl meeting you for the first time is likely to show you only her best side. But do observe how she interacts with her family and her friends. People she is relaxed enough with to drop her guard and be who she really is. The same applies to guys (and this the advice to girls)
Alone and for the first time she may not be completely as she seems. Alone it is romantic and controlled. But do some active activities like a long walk together. Or attendd an event together. Then you will gain a greater appreciation of who she is and what makes her tick.
You cannot fall in love with every girl in the world.
And there are many more yet for you to meet.
remember 7 million people in the world. around half of them male and hald of them female. some too old for you and some too young. Some married or in a relationship, And some girls prefer girls to guys. And some live in other countries. But that still leaves many many more for you to meet and enjoy and finally fine the "one"
And you will find that special "one" eventually. But along the way you will meet some who seem perfect to start off, but then turn out to be different to the girl you thought she was.
Never worry about that.
It's s numbers game and eventually the most wonderful girl ever will come into your life.
But not too soon please? try to play the field for at least another five years so that you really do settle for the best of the best, when the time is right
There is no rush and no urgency in this.
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