A
male
age
30-35,
*iseone77
writes:Why does my heart hurt so much? I'm 21 and I've fallen in love on three separate occasions. None of them ever reciprocated those emotions, and I'm fine with that, but I just feel so alone. Why wont it stop hurting, why does my heart feel like it's breaking again? Please help me, because I can't figure it out anymore. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): Did all the girls have similarities? Perhaps you are attracted to a certain trait and there is a pattern forming?I used to like and seek out the flashy girls who had that "twinkle" in their eye, extra bounce in their step, wiggle in their walk..... you get the idea. About 20 years later I am listening to an old song that says, " If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife......"I'm not joking actually. Those women were out of my league in the sense that they knew they were coveted and desired that "extra" attention. I was forcing and stretching to keep up. I did it for many years and I have grown tremendously as a result but it gets tiring after a while. I am now comfortable with who I am, what I have, what i can offer, what I would like in return etc....... You have to be in command of yourself before you can be in command of other situations.It hurts to be rejected and I remember feeling that similar pain when I was younger. Don't let this get the best of you. You appear to be quite sensitive and require companionship. That makes you appear "clingy" and "needy" Please re-read what mushroom wrote about women being attracted to confident men. I have found that women will many times do things that appear illogical. This is a test mechanism to see how the man will handle the situation. Are there any female friends you can speak with? A sister? Perhaps your parents or maybe a counselor?Be positive and always move forward!
A
female
reader, Mushroom84  +, writes (10 April 2013):
I relate. I do the same thing. Fall for guys who don't feel the same way about me. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes there is a reason - maybe there is something about us which needs to change. But it may just be that you haven't met the right girl yet. If you think there is a character flaw that you need to work on - then it will be good to work on that. If it's not a character flaw, but the girls simply aren't attracted to you, then you need to be strong and know that the right girl is waiting for you.Learn that women are attracted to confident, authoritative men. Men who are strong in themselves, know what they want, are sensitive and caring, but also assertive. I have always been drawn to men who have these characteristics. Men have to be leaders in the relationship. If you are acting like a leader - then good on you. This is what is attractive to a woman. A leader who has a kind heart and who wants to love and cherish a woman. Who respects her. Praying for you to feel better.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (9 April 2013):
 Im not feeling sorry for you. You need to change ur personality n learn how to create attraction with women. Youre more than likely showing traits that they interpret as creating affection. Friends do that. Youre not a friend. Read books on dating pal n educate yourself. I might be big n strong n have a very desirable body but ive still made improvements to myself thru maturity n experiences. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (9 April 2013):
Because your a warm loving sensitive man and you give your heart to soon.Stops the lights right Now please try and hold on to Falling in love untill you are sure that your feelings are returned by a girlfriend.Give it time and the hurt will heal and then the alone feeling will go .Maybe it might be a good idea to take time out from the dating scene and just enjopy living.Hopefully in the not too distance future you will meet a nice girl.Be gentle with yourself. Kind Wishes Nora B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013): You may be focusing your attention on girls who you're attracted to, without caring if they really like you or not.You set yourself up for failure. You get all worked up over girls you think are pretty, but aren't really interested in being your girlfriend.Some guys look for a prize, not a real-live person who really likes him.In your case, you're busy being the pity-puppy. I don't recommend dating until you start boosting your self-esteem and build some confidence. I know for a fact 100% of the time, there is some female who has shown interest and she gets over-looked, because you don't think she looks like those pretty popular girls you see other guys with. You get your heart broken chasing girls who wouldn't give you the time of day. Therefore, you're lonely and nobody loves you. You need to like yourself and get over the girls who don't show you any feelings. They were wrong for you to begin with. When you stop showing everyone you feel sorry for yourself and just lighten up, you'll be likeable and more attractive.Go to the gym. Workout and build some self-confidence and enjoy the health benefits. Read books about building your self-esteem and don't put yourself down. Ever.Don't shower girls with too much attention and go over-board with praise, and acting all goofy over them.Like yourself, and girls will like you too.
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