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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I envy my ex boyfriend. I see him going out, having fun with his friends, like he's already over me, or maybe if he's not over me, at least he's happy and confident.I'm not. I feel ugly, uninteresting, boring, worthless. I have friends, we go out, but I don't enjoy myself. I'm awful at meeting new people, partly because I'm not motivated and also because I've never been good at making conversation.I feel terribly lonely. It's funny, because I was the one who broke up with him, 'cause he was the jealous type, controlling and abusive. Yet I miss him... I hate myself for that!I mean, due to his jealousy, I had no friends practically and I never went out without him. He did, he had friends and also went out without me especially when he was mad at me. He was practically the only person in my life. He was the one who gave me support, companionship, fun, etc.Now he's gone, and I have my friends but I don't feel that connection with them. I feel like maybe I'm depressed too, because my libido is dead, and sometimes during the day I feel like I'm just going through the motions with everything. I don't feel motivated to do anything outside my routine, for instance. But what hurts me the most is constantly comparing myself to him, seeing him have fun, feeling miserable and lonely... the bad thing is this is quite a small town... it's not like I can just avoid certain places or people.
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broke up, depressed, jealous, libido, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): My bf broke up with me in dec and neglected to inform me...3 weeks later he was dating his dead best friends girl umm 3 weeks after he died.. so needless to say I was evicted from my home...lost my dog and just got half of my belongings back and they were damaged and sent to me in boxes with my name written in her handwritting....So I have felt everything you have been feeling. It has been hard to move on and sometimes i move forward only to move backwards but I am suprising myself to learn that I don't need him and that I wasn't as in love with him as I thought. I was so co-dependant and lost in the idea of being in a relationship and we were together for 3 1/2 years ...and I even proposed so believe me when I say that you can get through this. I suffer from depressiona and PTSD ..so I know what you are facing. I can't trust many people if anyone...but you need to do things for yourself and be your own person. My bf won't apologize for telling me that he hated me and the sight of my face made him sick...and I when I think of his happiness and all he has because of what I gave him and what I helped him achieve I get sick but I deserve better...but good things don't happen to good people because they want them..they go get them
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Give yourself time to get over the relationship. You were wise to get out of a relationship where you were being manipulated and controlled. Sometimes loneliness is what makes someone end up BACK in an abusive relationship--don't go back to that--give yourself time!!!
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A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Back in the day, I was in a similar situation to yours. Eventually, I had to move out of the small town for a few months to get away from all the things that reminded me of her.
Recognize that how your ex feels has nothing to do with how you feel. If he seems happy right after a split, it could be that he is putting on an act, or that he doesn't really know what an emotional commitment is.
You have to do your own thing. A great way to go is to go get a totally random job somewhere you think would be fun to work at. Another would be to check out a community college for random classes that sound like fun. Join a club, do volunteer work, or find an exercise buddy.
You have to change up your routine to get the emotions flushed out of your system. You can do it sweetheart!
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