A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I am 31 and was in a relationship with my ex for 6 1/2 years. For a while things didnt seem great. No arguments or anything but it seemed stagnent, a bit boring. Other girls turned my eye more than my girlfriend but i never acted although it was getting harder not to flirt. I guess all these things considered, i finished it after having finishing thoughts on and off for more than 6 months. Friend were breaking up, I was considering where I was on life. I guess with everyone else breaking up, the seven year itch and possibly a mild mid life crisis it just happened. When we broke up I broke up honestly or what I thought was honest at the time. I broke up gently but firmly and avoided contact to let her get over it as fast as possible. 7 weeks on though i felt continuosly sad about it all and at first thought it was just greaving the relationship. However now I know it was a mid life crisis, depression and not knowing contentment from being bored. I have since told her how I feel. She does not want to really talk about it. She is strong now, which i am really happy but she wont let me in at all. I dont want to rush her and have said i am here, I'm going no where and lets be friends first and see what happens. She will all me to call her for friendly chats but wont meet. If i text her anything nice I dont get a response, but if its general I get a response straight away. I dont want to push things but I feel like I should show her how much I love her and regret the last 3months. I want to get old with her, how do I progress? i know she loves me, I just hurt her, she gained back her strength and just doesnt trust me enough to let me in even a small bit in case i hurt her again. Please hel;p!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 November 2006):
Nothing to do but wait and hope for the best. Of course if it never happens you will have wasted lots of precious time. You say she loves you, maybe she does but is determined to get over you because the trust is gone. Who knows? It's your call but I certainly would move forward with my life as much as I can and see what develops. By the way, 31 is a tad young for a mid-life crisis.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006): I think you have blown it and you know it! sorry to sound a bit blunt but she isn't made of stone. How did you end it anyway. If the hurt for her was hard to get over then i can understand her not getting in touch. You may have to go through life with the knowledge that you threw away someone very special. Just put it behind you, don't pester her and try to get your life back on track. It all makes us the people that we are today.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006): The best thing to do is to just be patient and kimd and not try to presure her, just stay in contact and if she will meet you eventually for a date, then tell her how sorry you are about hurting her in this way and tell her how you feel and what you envision for your future together....and then see how she responds.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006): you made your bed now lay in it. just learn from the experience.
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