A
female
age
41-50,
*erenity1
writes:i've been seeing a guy who has a gf for about 4months now and i just don't feel too good about it. i decided to break it off with him (this is my 2nd attempt only difference i tried to be more forceful) by telling him that i really care about him as a person but my concious will not allow me to keep seeing him and know that he has a gf. i also realize that i deserve better and have more self respect for myself, than to settle for someone else's man.it just seems as though he won't take no for an answer. i could tell he was "uneasy" if you will when i told him and couldn't really look me in my eyes. i told him i've erased his #'s out of my phone and that he needed to do the same with mine. and he said that he respected me for my decision...then changed the subject with a casual joke. as we departed he told me he loved me (i didn't say anything back).one hour later he was calling, leaving me messages that he's sorry (for what???) and that he didn't want to end our relationship even if it costs him his current relationship. i finally answered (because he called from a odd # and he asked me if i wanted him to tell his gf and i said no...i don't want her to be hurt...and he said well we'll let her find out on her own...and i said you are obviously not grasping what i said. WE ARE NO MORE...PERIOD...and he still continues to call/text with messages like "i love you Mrs. his last name. mind you this man is 40yrs old. what's wrong with him. im trying to be the better person and do what's right.besides having his cake and eating it too, why on earth would a guy insist on continuing to see a girl and he already has a gf???? please help me...im trying to be about the right thing and he's making it very hard for me. besides you would think that by me being the initiator in the break off that he would just let go while the cost is clear. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): Well done finishing it with him. Unfortunately some men get keener when you say no. You are considerate of his girlfriend and respectful of yourself and too good for him.Delete any texts he sends you and don't answer him. If you see him out, walk in the other direction. If he tries to talk to you tell him you want him to leave you alone.Eventually he will get the message.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 November 2008):
Wow he sounds like a nutter to me.
If he wanted to be with you that much then he would break up with his girlfriend.
But instead he's trying to guilt you into letting him stay with her "Do you want me to tell her?" is such emotional blackmail.
You have done the right thing and I really respect you for taking this step and ending it.
Keep ignoring his calls and messages. He's trying to break you down so he can have you and keep his girlfriend.
He'll get the hint eventually, although he may get worse before he gets better. He'll probably cry a lot and say all kinds of things.
But stay strong. You are doing the right thing here.
Good Luck!! xx
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