A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I have a 3 year old child with this guy...but I am in love with his brother, and the feelings are mutal, and we've been seeing each other for about 7 years. Our relationship has been a secret since I got pregnant with his brother's child. I recently ended our secret relationship, but now I am regretting it. A lot of people knew that we were seeing eachother, but his family, and I think his brother also. The guy I am in love with is seeing other girls, and I am seeing other guys. But I do it to try and get over him. I have never loved any other man but my baby daddy's brother, what should I do? Should I fight for this guy?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 Well, this is a very difficult situation. I think I didn't get it right the first time. I understand that
1) You've been seeing Brother 1 for seven years.
2) However, you got pregnant, on a fling, by Brother 2, three years ago.
3) Many people know you are still seeing Brother 1, except the Brothers' family and Brother 2.
3) Now you've finished your relationship with Brother 1, but you want him back. He's the only man you've loved.
4) Apart from the fling, you've never had anything real with Brother 2.
5) Both you and Brother 1 are also seeing other people.
This is a very difficult situation to be in.
I think that, whatever I say, you'll be hurt. But, let me tell you I don't want to be judgmental. You're very young and you got entangled. And, you didn't do this alone; the two Brothers were very much involved in this, too.
I suppose the best course of action, from a certain point of view, is for you to stop seeing any of the brothers. Also, since you have a baby, you should stop seeing other people and perhaps get seriously involved with only one person. You need stability yourself, and your child does, too. I don't think you will have this with any of the two Brothers.
The child will grow and will ask questions. I don't see how you can avoid a problem with the family if you get seriously involved with Brother 1. I suppose the family AND Brother 2 do know the baby is by Brother 2.
Also, I don't think you really love any of the Brothers. If you did love Brother 1, you would not be seeing anyone else. And, I am afraid to break this news to you, but I don't think Brother 1 loves you, either. He wouldn't be seeing any other people, either. And, I assume he knows the baby is by Brother 2; a good man would have stopped seeing you.
So, in brief, I think you should stop seeing any of the two. Perhaps keep contact with them because they are your child's family. But that's all.
Good luck, dear.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not married to my baby's daddy, or had a real relationship, it was just a fling and I ended up getting pregnant. I was with the other brother at first.
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A
female
reader, temy  +, writes (5 July 2007):
This is immorality of the highest order, not trying to be judgemental, you ought not to have gone into any relationship, either secret or open with your husband's brother. The fact that the father of your baby sleeps around does not connote that you too should and if you should get out of his way or let him get out of your way and be sure to be free before you engage in another relationship. all in all remember the word of God, so please do it right and you will succeed.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (4 July 2007):
You got yourself in a hell of a mess. You should never have anything to do with in-laws.
I don't think any of you loves each other. If you did, you wouldn't be seeing any other people.
Suppose you stay with this man. How are you going to explain to your baby that you have sex with his uncle?
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