A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend made a big song and dance about quitting smoking because i'm very anti it. He said things along the lines of: you're my inspiration for quitting, i quit for you, etc. All lovey dovey stuff. But then a few weeks later we're at his mate's house, my boyfriend lights up a cig and puffs on it while looking at me with a spiteful expression on his face. He then cockily tells me that he's actually been smoking a bit on the sly, like when he went on a business trip recently. I realised he's not a man of his word at all and i dumped him. Was i too harsh?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Well, it's definitely not right for him to sneak behind your back. But, if he was a smoker when you started dating and you accepted it then, I don't think it's really fair that you hold it against him now. It sounds like he wants to quit, for you. And it sounds like he's at least made an effort. If you don't love him enough to accept his habit, then sure, it's better to break it off now. But if you really love him and want to be with him and he's at least making an effort, then I think it's only fair that instead of nagging him to quit that you offer him support and understanding. Continue to let him know how important he is to you and that you can't stand to watch him kill himself. There are ways around this problem, that's if you love him enough to deal with it. Good luck!
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 I agree with Reebe, if youd out and out dumped him for just smoking then my answer would have been YES to being too harsh but he made you look a fool and was spiteful and openly flouted the fact he was disregarding your feelings; you did the right thing and you are better off without him.
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (10 January 2008):
 It's not about him smoking it's about that he made you feel and look, any guy who tries to make you look stupid in front of other people really isn't worth it.
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