A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:K, so I'm wondering what to do about a girl who totally won't get the hint.She ALWAYS wants me to call her, she wants to hang out everyday, the whole bit.We hooked up at a party a week ago, I was completely smashed, and while we were hooking up she said she really liked me, I was plastered, didn't really know how to respond, so I said I liked her back.Anyways, now everyday she tries getting us together. I've tried to be rude with hopes she'd stop liking me, but it didn't work. If I say I'll call and I don't, she doesn't care, just acts super happy when she actually does get a hold of me.And she's hinted she wants us to go out, and I've already said to her I hate being in relationships, and I also told her that for the next 3 months I'm going to be away for work, and am going to Afghanistan around Christmas, but that didn't scare her off either.Even if I wanted to go out with her it wouldn't work, I'd never get to see her, but she totally doesn't get it.I don't want to flat out tell her I don't like her after I said I did before. I don't want to blame it on me being overly drunk at the time I said it either, because she keeps saying I wasn't very drunk or anything, but the whole night for me was a blur and apparently she remembers every second of it.Any advice on how I can let her go easy?
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Hi, Direct and up front, should be the way to go. If you take the time, not at her house, and tell her, you were definitely drunk, you remember nothing, so what you said had no meaning. You do not like her as a girlfriend, and don't want to be with her, so please believe the truth.
Let that be it, you can ask her if she understands, but I would not stay for the tears, unless you want to feel sorry for her and start the cycle all over again. Then stay away from her, people get crushes on other people all the time, without any encouragement, so if you don't like her, stay away, it only feeds her infatuation. There is no way not to hurt her, under these circumstances, but it would be worse, if you keep letting her think there is hope. Be kind and tell her outright and upfront, with no equivocation. Take care. Remember, no contact. Once time has passed, and she knows she has no chance with you, if you want to be friends from a distance, then that's up to you, I don't think I would even take that chance. Good luck.
A
female
reader, °Ale°  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 I agree with Tremor- You should just tell her. On the other hand, you seem to care a bit for not wanting to hurt her feelings & let her go easy. Maybe you like her?
... Maybe you like the attention she gives you.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Don't be such a jerk. Only jerks try and scare a girl off by not calling and acting like a tool.
Man up and just tell her straight out. Be nice about it, but be direct - you were drunk, it was a hookup, sorry.
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