A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i recently had a dream of my girlfriend cheating on me. and in the past i have always been very reluctant to trust any girl that i have been with, including my current girlfriend. we have been together for nearly 16 months now, and no strong trust has really developed. today when i was at her house i saw a circle was drawn on her arm, and i asked how that hapened, in a nice, unnacusing manner, and then she hessitated, looked at me then the circle, then back at me and slowly started to say that one of her firends that's a guy had drawn it on her because he was bored. she knew about my dream from the previous night, and knows that i'm weary about other guys being too close with her, because alot of guys like to look (which is something we both agree on). i dont really know the guy friend of hers that drew on her, and have only met him a couple of times, but i know that me and him some what look alike, and may even have the same interests. which leads me to believe that she might start developing emotions for him. i dont know if i am being paranoid, or if i have a good reason. i dont want to be over protective, but i dont want to get hurt. i'm kinda lost.
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male
reader, Deniz  +, writes (30 April 2008):
dude its best that you take it from a girls point of view but also from a males, for example, me. ok ur paranoid but thats not coz ur controlling.. dw about wat the other guy wrote.. its because u have a fear of losing her, which is only normal for someone you care about. and sure, your girl is allowed to have male friends, but put it this way... if your girlfriend was real fat or ugly do you think she will ever have any male friends unless they fit in2 the same category as her?? guys wanna be a girls friend because they find them attractive in some way (and im not talking about personality), this works the other way as well.. its the laws of attraction... everyone knows this but they are just too scared to admit it.. and how did you start dating this girl of yours? i bet it was because you two started off as friends, see it has to start somewhere and friendship is always the 1st step to another relationship. As for the asshole drawing on your girls arm, get that pen and stick it up his ass, what a loser, he knows she has a girl so y is he doing that. signs of flirting, a guy will send subliminal messages to a girl when he knows she has another man. Men are like lions, strongest in the pack wins, its all about pride and dominance. Your girlfriend shouldn't have let him draw on her arm anyway, i mean think about? whats the point? lol.. but maybe she didn't want to be mean and bitchy to him, its only normal, please dont be angry at her... But you do know when a girl is friendly to a guy, the guy thinks she is giving him signals.. He thinks his in! Its the cold hard truth..At the end of the day there is no love without trust, remember that... But the more trust you put in2 something the more it kills you when it comes crashing down. It's a beautiful thing to trust someone, but never give all your trust... Trust your girl, but dont trust other guys... men are pigs, we have the media to thank for that for labelling females as sex icons all the time.. but most of the girls these days dont respect themselves anyway, example: clothes they were, they way they speak, partying hard, sex, drugs, the list goes on.. I just feel sorry for the decent girls out thereTake care buddy
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): no dude first your girl shouldnt be close to anouther man the way u saying it sounds like she already have feelings. An its ok to beleAVE YOUR GIRL IS CHEATING but its not ok to put it past her i feel that way too but find out what u can befor acting on it cause it might be just freind ship but who wants to beleave that. I wuldnt. See i have friends too but nnot girl friends just for the respect of my girl an they should do the same cause its a matter of time befor he makes a move so deal with the problem befor the problem deal wit you. Its ok to have that fear but its not ok to let it control you.]I have that fear to] -slugz-
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Dreams are just that, dreams, so stop reading more into them.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Yes I do think you are being paranoid and looking too much into your dream. Your girlfriend has not given you any indications of cheating on you, she told you how she got the mark on her arm saying her friend who happens to be male had done it cos he was bored.
I think she is entitled to have male friends, as much as you are entitled to have female ones. Sure the guys look at her they are only human I bet you look at other girls, at the end of the day it is you she is dating. You can't keep her cocooned so that other guys cannot admire her or be friends with her, otherwise she will feel suffocated and then you will lose her. So please put this dream at the back of your mind and move on.
Carry on being a great boyfriend to her and relax, its you that she has chosen to be with. Dusky xxx.
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A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Hey man. I have been through the same things. Ignore people that dog on you for being insecure. Its something thats not desirable, but with maturity that should work itself out. You're pretty normal... everyone fears losing the one that they love... to an extent. I was the same way for a while. Then, I realized that hey... I was getting hit on all of the time too. I dont ever flirt back, and neither does my girlfriend. Other guys will look, just remember.... there is obviously something in you that she finds more attractive than in others. Even if you two dont end up together, remember you can land a hottie... and keep your head up.As for the dreams... they mean nothing lol. Just like if you were having dreams that zombies were chasing you. Doesnt mean they are in real life.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 You think too much and you are insecure. Your subconscious picks up your feelings.
Don't read too much into those dreams. they are just dreams.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (20 February 2008):
 "and no strong trust has really developed"
"that i'm weary about other guys being too close with her"
Hi,
dont know if you are ready for some hard truths but you have asked so I'm going to give them to you.
The above two comments from you signify classic examples of a controlling personality. You ask are you being paranoid? Paranoia is not the issue here, the issue is you controlling your girlfriends life. You say no strong trust has developed, of course it hasnt because you freak out anytime another man looks at your girlfriend and all sorts of wild thoughts come into your head. This has nothing to do with her, if guys look at her it's because she is cute, get over it.
It saddens me to see how you can make your girlfriend cower when you demand answers to your questions - this is not a relationship mate, it is a means of you controlling what she does in her free time.
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