A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Whenever we have a family reunion/get-together, my self esteem, no matter how I feel about myself when I arrive, is usually shot down to about zero, or so it feels. Now we have a big upcoming family event, and part of me secretly dreads it! I feel like a poor cousin destined to be bossed around and everything i say is ignored or chopped to pieces. But still I go because it's the only family i have,and I do love them! does anyone have any coping advice? Please help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Y_v  +, writes (21 June 2011):
 BE YOURSELF.
Relax, everytime you feel that you're being ignored or hurt, take 5 slow breaths, clear your mind and don't respond! Change the subject of the conversation, maybe you could try and impress them with your general knowledge cos everyone has that! Like i said before be yourself, that way you can be taken seriously and make sure everything you say is positive and no arguments can be formed from them. Every family has that, like some irritating cousin, condescending aunts and uncles, etc. But just go with the flow and chill, getting stressed may actually be the thing that weakens you.
Another suggestion would be to write down EVERYTHING you dread about family reunions specificly e.g. dislike my
aunt cos she's very condescending. That way you can view your problems clearly and try and solve them e.g. my aunt is being condescending cos she may feel the need to have power over someone therefore don't take any notice.
Stand your ground, tell them who's boss :) and you'll pull through.
Hope this helps in SOME way, enjoy yourself and relax :)
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