A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I really need an advice here, I have been with my boyfriend 10 months, he is a very good guy, he does everything to please me and I do the same also. I love him but sometimes he has attitudes that makes me doubt of his feelings for me. For example he can go like one or two days with out making any contact with me, I talked to him about this situation, because I don't consider myself needy, but I like to know how my boyfriend is doing on daily basis. Since then he has been calling me every day. It can be a 5 minutes call, text message or email, just something.Then a couple of weeks ago he took me to his house (he is living now with his parents because he just got back to college and can't afford to pay and living by himself), because he wanted me to meet his family, but now, yesterday, I told him if he wanted to spend the night ( he has done it a couple of times) in my place and he said that he wanted to do it, but his family would know that he was spending the night with me, and he was feeling awkward about the situation. My bf comes from a very conservative family, those people doesn't talk about sex, and he has never have been with someone as serious as he is with me. He told me that before meet me he was not interested in have a girlfriend, the only one thing he was interested was in his computer, but since he meet me, he has liked me so much that he wanted to pursue something with me, he said that even when he wasnt calling me on daily basis, he cannot be apart of me for many days, he said that he cannot go more than 3 days to one week with out talk to me. He said that he has never liked someone as he likes me, he has never taken any girl to his home, the times that I have tell him about take a break or break up, he always ask me if at least he can call me or see me, but he doesn't want to lose me, at least have me as a friend, thing that I don't want, I am not friends of any of my exes. He told me that he is very scared of getting more close to me, he has always said that he has a lot of feelings for me, and if I don't want to have sex with him, that is fine with him, he said that he is scared of getting too used to me, because he is scared of one day I may leave him, I don't know what to do with him anymore, he has gave up time with his friends, to spend time with me, because now he is very busy, he comes to my place to visit me, normally 3 times a week. I don't know if I should stay with this guy or not, I really want to be with him, he is everything to me but the things he does makes me doubt about his feelings for me. I need an advice, with this.
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female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (18 December 2008):
if the guy is in college & has other obligations apart from you it is natural that he may not contact you for a day if he gets tied up with other things... not for nothing, but you do sound a little needy & insecure... & that too ruins relationships... if you have strong feelings for him & he tells you the same then there should be no problem... also being together up each others butts everyday ruins relationships... everyone needs independence & time to do things on there own thing. what are you afraid of? if he's going to leave you one day & vice versa it will happen one day... what's meabt to be will be... as long as he is treating you with dignity & respect I don't see where there is a problem... you even said he is contacting you more frequently since you had the "talk"... just relax from what you said it sounds like he's into you...
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