A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My man of 1 year has recently found a sudden interest in trying group sex. He says we would not join another couple physically, but rather, have sex in the same room as another couple (very close friends). I asked him why, and he responded "it would be hot to watch and be watched" I keep telling him how uncomfortable I am with it. Why does he not hear my "NO!" answer? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Why does he not hear your "no" answer? Because he sounds very self-involved and immature, a guy who is only thinking of what he desires, in this relationship. This sounds a tad unhealthy. Tell him to grow up and accept your answer or tell him to take a hike, dear....he is not respecting you and don't...I repeat, don't have group sex just because he's asking you, over and over. Hang onto your self-respect here and set some hard and fast boundaries with this guy. I could be wrong here but I have to say something. This type of behavior from disturbs me. Because he's nagging you and pressuring you and he's showing little concern about whether you want to play out his sexual fantasy of a group sex situation. So he tries to manipulate you into compliance. This is not what we do to people we care about. This could say a lot about his character. Watch out for other traits, such as: unrealistic expectations of you, blame-shifting of problems onto you, negative attitudes toward women, hypersensitivity, anger and just generally being an ass when he can't get his own way.
Or better yet, you can dump him and go find someone who truely values, cherishes and loves you, with all his heart. And truely will respects you when you say no. I think you could do better than this guy. Just something to think about dear. Take care, be strong and stick to your principles. Good luck, dear
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Because he's not treating you like someone he cares about - your feelings and needs and your boundaries - but like a sex object who just fulfills his fantasy thats why he doesn't WANT to hear NO. Say no and tell him thats the last time you're saying it. If he is so desperate to blur the edges of intimacy with you I guess he'll stop at nothing so perhaps its best to distance yourself from him before he lowers you and your standards to his level.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (7 December 2008):
 "Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"Ok Ok Just stop asking me that!"
See how that works? It's a hope that after the 50th time, hoping you'd say yes to make him stop asking you.. Like the other aunt said, don't give in unless you truly want to give in.
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