A
female
age
36-40,
*lovelyx
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for 6yrs now we have a son who is 4. what my problem is i am paronoid and dont trust my boyfriend one bit, let me explain,..... wel my boyfriend is 22 now he is 23 in janaury, on his 18th birthday he kissed his ex, which to me was upsettin but it was only a kiss, about ayr and half ago i had a really good friend where me and my boyfriend went round ev weekend to have a drink, her cousin started to come round i got on with her until i found out she kissed my boyfriend, and they both were actin so normal around me, i warned them both. she stoped comin round for about 3 months and then she started to come round again, i was always watchin them both as from last time, but i guess i never watched them anouth as now a yr ago i found out they slept together!!! i split up from my boyfriend for a couple of weeks but i loved him and wanted him back i still stood my ground tho until i saw how hurt my boyfriend was that we split up, so i said we will give it another go as long as he will never do owt like that again!!! now this week i know its only a converstion but my boyfriend left the computer on and i saw a converstion between him and this girl, him askin her for her number and askin her to come to this party or to meet him, then the converstion started again after i saved his converstion to this girl from him, this time he said why didnt she meet him and was she interested in him. she said you have a girlfriend to him and he replied AND? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I HAVE STOPPED SMOKIN BECAUSE OF THIS I DONT WANT TO EAT IF I DO IT IS CHOCOLATE AND CRISP I FEEL ILL I EVEN MADE HIM SLEEP ON THE SOFA LAST NIGHT BUT TODAY HE SEEMS EVERY THING IS OK BUT IT ISNT I DONT WANT TO THROUGH 6 YRS DOWN THE DRAIN BUT CAN I TRUST HIM NOT TO DO IT AGAIN OR DO I TELL HIM ITS OVER BUT HE CAN STILL SEE HIS SON. BUT I DO KNOW IF I FINISH HE WONT GO QUIET!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): Dear Poster
I can understand that you are confused and that you are hurting; however, this guy is not treating you with love and respect; he is not honest with you and I don't blame you for not trusting him; I do understand that you care for him and that you are concerned about your child; but, you have to talk to him; he will have to face the financial responsibility for the child; get legal advise and sue him for maintenance for the child; it is best to have this done the proper way by means of a court order, then he cannot just disappear and stop paying;
As for him having contact with the child, that you can discuss and arrange at a later stage; for now, you need him to move out; you need to have a break from this guy; he is cheating on you and you and your child deserves better and more.
Yes, I know it will be difficult; but unless you do something about it now; it will never get better or change;
have a separation and see how you feel after a few months on your own; whilst separated you should be free to go out and meet other people; You will rediscover yourself and hopefully realize that it is not worth wasting your life with somebody that you cannot TRUST.
Talk to him and explain to him that you both need this separation as you are no longer going to be cheated on and that due to his behavior, you cannot trust him anymore.
Good luck, be strong; think about your future and do what is right and best for you.
My thoughts are with you. Try to focus on your little one and give the little one extra love and affection.
Keep us posted.
Lots of hugs and SMILES.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Hun, he's taking you for a ride. I know you've been with him for years, but the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave him, which I think you should do. You must be able to see that he clearly has no respect for your relationship, and a relationship like that is just not worth carrying on.
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