A
female
age
36-40,
*isscali
writes:Well ive been dating my boyfrend for two months and he has a three year old daughter..and the relationship with his baby's mamma sucks, the bitch hardly lets him see her..and im 23 with no kids..and i dont really remember how we got on the topic of kids but anyways..i asked him if he wanted anymore cause i plan on having at least one in the future and he told me no..and that hurts me because he has a child and i dont...is it possible that hes just sayin that now because of the bulshit he goes through with his baby mamma..and thats just how he feels now..or is he serious because we are both very young..i love him but im gettin older and dont want to stay with him if he doesnt want to have any kids later on...is that selfish of me..i dnt think so..but..... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (26 March 2010):
You are right to question a future with a man who does not want kids if you want them. If you are just dating him with no long term plans then keep seeing him. But if you were looking at him as someone you could settle down with then perhaps you should tell him you need space to think about what you would like because you have different ideas on important issues like children.
A
female
reader, IW  +, writes (26 March 2010):
 I don't think it's selfish of you at all! If you want to have kids then you have the right to be with somone who wants kids too.
It is possible though that he will change his mind later on, but it is very possible he won't. Who says that the relationship with his baby's mum will get better?
I think you should ask him again. Try to work it into the conversation and study his reaction closely this time. If he still seems very determinded you better leave him and try finding someone else.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (26 March 2010):
You need to break it off so that each of you can find a partner who shares this core value. This one's simply too big to compromise. Women who want kids, who stay with guys who don't either end up miserable or pregnant, at which point he feels betrayed and trapped.
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A
male
reader, kevin3007 +, writes (26 March 2010):
 you're not selfish that's your right to have kids try to give him more time but if you feel that he's really serious of not having babies i think you should get worry about that well you know you're getting older and once you miss the train you can't catch it again ....i mean if he really loves you he'll have kids with you ,if he really loves you he'll do any thing to make you happy ........so dear lady don't waste your time ....hope i helped
ps:try to talk to him about babies and how beatiful they are and how much fun you gonna have in raising them maybe he'll understand ...good luck.
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