A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been flirting with a man at work for several months now, he flirts back and has openly told me he likes me, hes quite a bit older tho, im 22 and he is 54, he bought me 12 roses for Valentines day this year, we worked together last night and I don't know why but I really wanted to kiss him! It's really mad coz I don't even fancy him i just flirt with him as he is the only male in the building! We have a right laugh together, I'm just scared of what's going to happen in the future as I don't want to start anything with a work colleague but I really want to see where it goes, any advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): I read the question and the answers. This brings me to the "Double Standard" question. Why is it okay for a "cougar" {a much older woman} to jump into bed with a much younger male; but when a much older man wants to bed a much younger woman, it is a sin? I mean; look at all those women in their 40s, 50s and 60s trying to get into bed with 18-25 year old boys? And y'all wonder why us men can't find women "our own age"? Because they are all chasing the younger boys, that's why. I am 50; divorced for two years now. I have been trying to find someone "my own age", but they are all interested in "the younger stud". Yet; if I go and date a 30 year old woman, everyone flips out about it. This double standard thing has got to end.I say that first; she should find out if he is married, maybe he is divorced. Then if she finds he is divorced or widowed; then proceed. If she just wants to see how he is in bed, be honest with him so he don't expect more. But if the two of you are interested in pursuing a real relationship, then by all means do what makes you both happy. If he is married; then leave him completely alone, think how you would feel if another woman stole your man away. But if the two of you are single and want to pursue a long term relationship; you both know what you are getting into, then go for it.Keep something in mind people. I have seen some 20 year old women who are alot more mature than some 40 year old women. I have seen some younger women hold true to their word, while the older women constantly break theirs. People are too quick to judge each other and don't think of the skeletons in their own closet.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 February 2013):
 Either you don't want to start anything or you want to see where it goes.... it's ONE or the OTHER it can't be both.
I will tell you that rarely do work relationships where you met at work, work out.... and if that happens will you be able to deal with having to see him all the time?
In addition, at 54 are you sure he's not married or seriously partnered? If he is, then he's off limits in my opinion.
Thirdly, while age gap relationships are fine in my book, I tend to be concerned if the gap is over 15 years and one of the partners is under 30.
I'm nearly 53 and MOST days all I want to do is go to work and go home and put on my jammies and veg on the couch. Thankfully my 39 year old husband is ok with this...
If you end up with a guy my age at 22 (younger than my kids) will you be ok with not going out to bars? Not going out to wild parties?
To be honest, my gut feeling on this is that he's a flirt buddy at work and I would not take it any more than that...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2013): You are just liking the attention a man, that could be your father's age, is giving you.
Men that age have a lot of baggage, ex-wives or he may be married, has kids, all the drama that they bring into a relationship.
He justs wants to have sex with a young thing to make himself feel young again. It's a trophy for an old man to bag a young woman.
Nursing an old man with ailments sounds real romantic and that is would you could end up being, a nursemaid. Ewwww.
Do you want to risk your career and be the fodder of office gosspip.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2013): I don't know what kind of advice your looking for, as you posted about the situation and aunts and uncles all send there answers which basically consisted of ' don't go near him '.You know this is wrong on many levels, and yes we can get carried away with flirting but now you have admitted you want more .He's married, right? How would you feel if you were his wife. Or is it that you just want him because you feel you can get him? Hmm that isn't fair sweetie, is it? And think it over, what kind of man would you be getting, a cheater a liar...someone not trustable .. Is this the kind of man you want ? I doubt it.. I hate being harsh but your gonna have to stop this . Really as next time you post I won't even look at it. No one on here is going to give you the answer you want.. And I don't think anything we have said has had any impact on your last post.Some people just want, what they want right?And do you know what some people get there just deserts .. You haven't a clue what your getting into . But on you leap.. Do take care and start thinking with your head .
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