A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Hope you all had a good Xmas. I have a problem; I don’t want to spend NYE with my partner. I love him but we have almost split up recently and a lot of it is because he becomes a different person when he is drinking; he becomes jealous, irrational and verbally aggressive. So I’ve decided that this year, we are going out for a meal but after that I am going out with some friends from work and not him. it’s a shame because their partners will be there. We are going out for a meal together but after that I want to go out without him. it’s not so I can flirt with other men or anything I really just feel I need some space. we spent Xmas and his birthday together (that was yesterday). He has told me he is going to stop drinking and actually he has, but I’ve heard it so many times before that I don’t trust him anymore.Am I being unreasonable? I will be out until around 12pm-2am as I am on a night shift the next day. Is NYE such a big deal anyway? Am I wrong to want some space? I just feel I’ve had enough of him and the way he is and I’m also scared that he will drink and end up embarrassing me, again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Hi, thanks for your answers. I DO want to be with him, I just want him to stop drinking. He's getting help with it. I just dont want to go drinking with him NYE. I think it's OK but i wanted some other opinions. Last year we got drunk together and we always end up having arguements.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 perhaps you could compromise and take both cars and that way if he drinks something you can leave then? it gets your point across that you will not tolerate his drinking any longer...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 December 2011):
I would say to you that this is a pretty big sign that you need to think about whether this relationship is right for you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have time to yourself, but the tone of this question just says that you're mostly scared/embarrassed of him, and you don't trust him. He also comes across as a liar and someone who has a problem with drink.
NYE isn't a massive thing in my opinion. What is quite big is that you're willing to go to a dinner having banned your partner, whilst your friends will both have theirs there.
Seriously think about whether you want to be with him. I think there's a huge lack of trust, and I think you seem to want out really.
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