A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Probably you will hate me, and think that I am the most shallow person in the world, but please understand that this behavior REALLY surprises me on my BF since he is BIG about holidays and always sure they dont go unnoticed for us. I DONT know how to confront him about this... or even if I should, or what to make out of it.He has been away in another country for work, so now we are in a LDR like last Xmas. On this Xmas ( Dec 25th)he called to greet me for the holidays, but he did not mention any present at all... I thought this was strange because it is not like him to not even mention it(Holidays are VERY important to him) but I never asked about it. On Dec 1st I mailed him a (surprise) box so it would get on time for Xmas, by December 28th I had not heard a peep about him receiving it so I thought it gotten lost, so I told him about the box and inquired if he had received it... He hadn't. I think he felt bad that I had actually given him a present because he said : "Oh, your present was a promise ring, but I wanted to give it to you personally" I asked: "Thats so sweet! When did you have them made?"He responded : "I ordered them on Nov 30th and got them 3 days later..."I asked if I could see them on web cam and he said "Oh I cant show them to you because I took them back, I had them engrave December 25th 2010 on them since we were going to be together to give it to you in person..but since I couldn't, now they are no good"I COULD understand that, but we have been separated since JUNE and since OCTOBER we both knew he could not come back until MARCH (2011)... We knew since long ago we would not be together for the holidays, it was impossible.Why would he make a ring on NOV for DEC 25th if he knew for a fact we were not going to be together?I then said : "Thats okay sweety, but how did you have them made? I mean you did not know my ring size.."He said "I knew you ring size because you told me, you are an 8 "I NEVER did tell him.I then said : "Sorry sweety, but I never told you my ring size and I am a 6 actually."He called for a few minutes and thats about it. He made this Xmas seem like something very unimportant between us, tho he DID sent out gifts and packages early to all of his family members and friends (from here), that he put a lot of thought on because he worried that they would not ship in time to get to them on Xmas. We already knew he would not make it home since October, he knew this too so that is why he took the time to surprise his family.. but to his GF? I don't need expensive things, or material things, but he made it seem as if it was not really important to get me anything...Last Xmas, he made a t-shirt himself and attached it with a letter and shipped it out. I LOVE IT, it was not expensive but HE MADE IT! I love it so much I even wore it this Xmas... but this year he made me feel like he did not even care about me, or doing something nice for me... not even an E-mail.I'm sorry if I sound like a spoiled brat, I assure you I'm not, but we are very big about holidays and he is always so caring... that even if he had sent out a card I would have been happy...his behavior is jsut surprising..On my Birthday in Nov, he congratulated me a day later...through MSN, he did not call... and said that he didint know what to get me so he sent out 100 dollars for me to get myself something because he could not figure out what to get me... again, I dont care about the money, but he just seems to lack effort when it comes to me, and he was not like this!I really dont know how to ask about this, or if I should even ask.. I dont know what to make out of this behavior. I'm really appreciative of his gifts and use/wear/keep them all with pride and love...What would u do? Would you ask? What should I think? I dont think he is cheating...but then what could it be? :( Thank you for reading and answering..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Karetta  +, writes (6 January 2011):
That is one hard question. I doubt he's cheating but sometimes people get tetchy over the tiniest of things. You should try and contact him and talk things over. Try to sort everything out and have a discussion about your issues. Don't ignore him cos that can just make everything worse.
I hope my advise helps! Good Luck with everything!
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