A
male
age
41-50,
*adandconfused1117
writes:I have been seeing my girlfriend for a while now and I have fallen in love with her but here lately things have changed We went from being very affectionate towards each other to it seems like she is almost repulsed by me when shes around. She tells me that it is just that things at work have not been going good and thats the problem. I do believe that thats true but I also think there is other reasons. She has a guy friend that she has a past with(They were dating for a while). She tells me that she has no romantic feelings for him but he does for her. I have told her that I didnt have a problem with her being friends with him because it is not my place to say otherwise. I did though tell her I wasnt comfortable with her going to his house and having dinner with him or going out with him without me there. I know that I sound like I am jelous and I sort of am. I feel that I am competing with someone who has the advantage of knowing her longer than I do and it wouldnt be so bad them talking but like last night while she was with me he texted her at least 15-20 times. I dont like what he is doing but I cant get her to see what he is trying to do. her work is stressful and I do believe that she is having a hard time there and I am very sympathetic to that but I know that what this guy is doing is messing with her emotions. she tells me she loves me but shows in in no way other than a small peck an occasional hug or I love you in response to me saying it first. I am very In love with her and dont want to lose her but on the other hand I cannot be in a relationship where I am not getting back any of the love I am putting out there.It had not been like this until about three weeks ago and it is really starting to hurt me bad. I guess what Im asking is could somebody please give me some advice on what to do. I plan on giving it more time to see if things can be fixed because that is what I really want. I am 33 years old and have experienced love before but never like this and I dont want it to end but I dont want it to be like it is now. Please help me with this. If anyone has any more questions to help you understand the situation please ask because I really want to fix this and I dont want to seem like Im a controlling man because Im not. I just dont want to have to share my lady with another man. Please help me with this. Thank you soo much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): I must agree with paulomiller. Sorry mate but you need to learn a few things you should have already. The basic fundamentals of how one person treats another. As well as how men and ladies think and how these differ.First of all, you are not being obsessive or overly jealous when you do not want your woman to spend time with her ex. For her to want to do this is completely unreasonable and indifferent towards your feelings. In my personal opinion quite disgusting but there you go. You would not do this to her, or at least I should hope not.Secondly, who is this other guy? If it were me I'd want to go and speak to him too to be perfectly honest. He needs to learn some respect. It is not his place to act like this he must learn to let her go.Thirdly, strap up. Get yourself together and love yourself a bit more. "I have told her that I didnt have a problem with her being friends with him because it is not my place to say otherwise" this is very sad.IT IS your place to say. Aside from the fact she should respect you more than to want to do this, YOU should respect yourself more than to let her do this. Plus, you are seriously missing the point of what is actually transpiring. Her ex is fighting for her, you are not. She will not stay with you if this continues, she will be with the man who has the courage to stand up for the love he claims to have for her. Understand?Finally, understand this. Women are more receptive to pain caused by the breaking of emotional bonds in relationships, for men usually it is the breaking of physical bonds. That is to say, and very sadly, one of the tell tail signs a woman is cheating is if she becomes less attentive to her man. Because she is fullfilling her emotional needs elsewhere. For men incidentally it is the opposite, they will become more attentive to their partners out of guilt. Don't think for a second that being cheated on emotionally is not as important as being cheated on physically. She knows what she is doing is wrong. Trust me.I hope sincerely you can work this out. I feel for you I seriously do.
A
male
reader, paulomiller  +, writes (26 September 2010):
first ..It's your fault...let me explain to you this ...you are not being jealous when you don't want see your girl with ex boyfriends ...who does that ! what kind of men let his woman goes in exboyfriend's house only if he vwant get cheated and your girl is cheating you at least emotionally...let this woman go, go after a good woman .this woman doesn't love you..she likes you...I'm not going tell that she's having sex with this guy but It can be happening already! your next woman try be more in control okay
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): She probably really shouldn't be going over to his house and out to dinner with him without you...especially since he has expressed an interest in her even though she says she doesn't feel the same way. I'm wondering if she thinks he can do something to help her at work. But I feel very uncomfortable around a guy when I know he is romantically interested in me and the feeling isn't mutual. It's flattering but once he's come out and expressed his feelings I tend to pull away for it. All the texting isn't appropriate either.
Maybe you should try talking to her about how this makes you feel. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if you were doing what she is doing. I know I wouldn't. Also try doing romantic, attentive things to re-spark what you all have. Be the man she fell for in the first place. It's worth a try.
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