A
female
 ,
*arlyuk
writes:Dear cupid my problem is that i was going out with this lad i met on the net but we had never met, then last sunday we spilt up because he didn't understand whjy i was nervous about meeting him now i have a new internet boy friend but im not as happy as i was before with my ex. my ex says he still loves me and wants me back but he still doesn't understand why i don;t want to meet him yet. what can i do???
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female
reader, carlyuk +, writes (13 August 2006):
carlyuk is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all for your help and yes i did speak to the first lad on the phone yes he rung me alot were reali close
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (12 August 2006):
 I think is normal that you feel anxious about the situation, I have dated man that I met on line a couple of times and the good thing is you get a realistic idea of how he really is and the second one is that a lot of magic suddenly disappears as you see maybe he's not fit or nor a lot or maybe really handsome, most times men cause a good impression on other people but the fact is they just want to get you in don't panic, go for a coffee is not that bad dear if magic disappears there's a lot of on line man waiting to meet you
love
Astrid
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2006): How long were you emailing with him on the internet? Was there anything in particular that caused you to be nervous about meeting him? Have you talked on the phone with the first lad? If not, you should.About him saying he "loves" you: he LIKES you and wants to continue with you. However, "loving" someone you haven't met is unrealistic. Because, no matter how much you email, text, until you actually meet face to face, its a POTENTIAL friendship, not a real one. People can look very good on paper - monitor screen - but quite different in person. Just keep that in mind.Depending on how long you knew the first lad - and no, you were not "going out", you were emailing, texting, maybe spoke on the phone. Again, its not real until you actually do meet.Anyway, why don't you arrange to get together with him for a coffee, or lunch? Make sure you get to the coffee shop or restaurant on your own, and when you part, leave on your own as well. Getting together during the daytime, rather than a later evening time, is good because you know you're not depending on a bus or train to get you home (unless you drive) perhaps very late at night. Personally, when I meet a guy online, I don't give him my last name - my personal email is set up so that it only shows my first name - nor do I let him pick me up or see me home until we've had at least a second date. Again, because you don't want to reveal personal information such as where you live, etc. to a man you find you don't especially like, or who you feel "funny" about when meeting for for the first - or second time.Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (12 August 2006):
 These aren't real relationships as you haven't met any of them in person or dated in the real world. The internet has this nasty way of deceiving you into thinking you know people from the net when you don't really - you only know what they want you to know about them. As for your 'ex'...well if he wasn't understanding of your feelings and tried to manipulate you into meeting him before you were ready then it is a very bad sign. It means he is thinking about himself too much and isn't a patient person. Your ex doesn't love you because he hasn't met you for real or known you day in, day out in the real world. You have every right to be nervous about meeting him - you should be NERVOUS about meeting strangers on the net and take some precautions like telling friends/ family where you are. You could be meeting anyone and not the person you think! You have already acquired a new internet boyfriend in a matter of days. I rather suspect you like the attention you are getting from these boys on the net and you should take care not to get yourself into a bad situation. There are a lot of bad people on the internet!
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