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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi, i need your help/advice im in a relationship have been for seven years we have two children,this is my problem, i love my partner to bits but theres another man that i really like i think i maybe falling in love with him!! i dont want to hurt my partner but i carnt stop thinking about the other man i miss him when i dont hear from him or see him, i know this man feels the same as i do! what do i do because i dont want to break my family up and i dont want to loose my partner but i dont feel happy in my relationship!!! HELP Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 why don't you try couples counseling?
If you love your man to bits, you wouldn't be thinking about somebody else.
YOU CANT FIND LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IF ARE LOOKING OUTSIDE OF IT!
Please dont cheat on your man, because its a cowardly , selfish despicable act that destroys lives needlessly.Think about how your children will feel when they learn that mommy is a cheating skank?
Be a damn adult and get some counseling before you make a terrible mistake you will never be able to live down.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Hi
I've been in this situation; the only difference is I am coping with the aftermath of the affair I chose to have...
I felt the same as you, couldn't stop thinking about the man, felt depressed when we were apart. but trust me what you're feeling is nothing but fantasy! If you love your partner please PLEASE work at getting the spark back and sorting out the problems that are driving you to desire another man before its too late. There are obviously problems else you wouldn't be tempted to stray, so identify them and work at it. You have a family and you could all be so happy so long as there is still love.
The man you like is a man like any other, I can assure you he has his faults, bad habits etc and if he can cheat with you, whats to stop him then cheating ON you?? He knows you have a partner and kids so he should be leaving you alone until such time as you become single (if thats ever what you want in the future)
I know it sounds extreme but the only way to get this man out of your head is to CUT HIM OUT COMPLETELY!! Whilst I was on maternity leave (I worked with the guy I had an affair with) I had no contact hardly at all with this man and over time I really didn't miss him...then I went back to work...thats when my affair began. Its my biggest regret. It was such a fantasy and so much easier to have an exciting affair than deal with the problems at home and work at rediscovering the spark.
It will be hard at first - you may feel very down, but you must not put yourself in the path of temptation. This man has got to go and fast! I am now a single mum and I ruined the trust in another relationship. Please don't make the same mistakes as me and cherish what you have or walk away with your head held high and your faithfulness in tact.
Good luck hun.xxx
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 well ur in a no win situation here.
if u stay with ur husband and not work things out then ur unhappy.
if u go with this other guy and that doesnt work out u still wont be happy.
im afraid ur going to have to have a long think about what it is u want,
ultimately whatever u decide will effect ur 2 children.
how well do u know this other guy? sometimes the grass does seem greener on the other side but when we get there, its not always so pleasing, have u thought of that?
i would recommend u ideally try to sort out your differences with your husband, u did make a commitment when u first married him. if that fails, then maybe u two need some time apart before u rebound on another guy. this is not healthy.
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A
female
reader, vodkablue +, writes (11 July 2009):
hi
at the same time though you dont want to stay in a relationship youre not happy in.
you have two options:
break all contact with the guy you like and do your damnest to fix your relationship-if its no good then walk away OR
leave your partner and get together with this guy and make a go of it.
at the moment youre in limbo and you will need to make a decision soon for your sake because the longer you prelong it the more unhappy you'll be good luck
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