| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has been acting very angry and unfair with me lately, like saying he isn't sure he loves me anymore after he misunderstands something I say that should be a simple talk and not make him feel bad at all. This is the second time he has told me he's not sure about loving me and he said if I ever said that to him he would have broke up with me immediately. He used to be great but we've never had the same sense of humor or been on the same page as far as intelligence goes. He finally said he loved me again but I almost want to break up with him. My problem is I am so scared I won't find somebody better and mostly I'm so scared to be alone. I haven't been single in 2 years. How could I ever live without the hugs and kisses and I love you's that I get now, even with the pain. What should I do, and how could I handle being single? Thank you fro your help.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (2 June 2006):
 YOu need to realise that relationships are about both putting in the effort to make the other happy. It shouldnt be a case of putting up with something. If you feel this upset by it now, it will only get worse. If people love each other they dont say things like i dont know if I love you, thats hard to hear especially when you love that person! If you stayed it might turn to resentment of him, for saying things like that to you, every time you quarrel it will make it feel worse. adpating to being single after so long in a relationship is hard, you start to dwell on what you had, but thats a negative thought, you should take every step in life as a new begining and never look back, always look forward! equally it can be eblightening as you can begin to find the inner you again and embark on different things. Make new friends, take on new challenges, it will open new doors for you and could lead to you finding somebody more you, but if you dont get out there and try you will never know! We all deserve to be happy and treated with respect, we shouldnt stay where we are unhappy, we need to take life with both hands and get out there and make the most of it!
Good luck
Take care x
A
female
reader, ms howes +, writes (2 June 2006):
 .hello, first thing i would like to say to you is you need to be happy with your self you dont need a man to make you happy,and from the sound of it u aint and it is making u feel down in your self.we all dont want to be alone and of course we all love cuddles and to hear them 3 words i love you but its no good stopping in this relationship if your not happy.my advise to you is be on your own find your self and you will find some one else but when the time is right ,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): I think what makes most people proud of themselves is when they can face their fears head on. In your case, the fear of going it alone is stopping you from going forward. Being alone is not such a bad thing, dear. Why not ride out the feelings of loneliness and come out a stronger person as a result of it? What you need to do is believe in yourself, occupy yourself, develop yourself to enable you to get through the discomfort of being alone. Call in family and trusted friends for support. Fill your life up with other things like family solidarity, career enhancement, educational possibilities. Stop using a/ any relationship with a man as a substitue for fulfillment and happiness. Expecting a bf to provide you 'with a life' so you don't feel lonely, is unrealistic and unfair...because that's not his job to do so. It's your job. Men are here to share our lives not be our lives. So get out of this nowhere relationship and go it alone. You will feel happier, in time. Take care and good luck.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Being single is a scarey prospect when you are just leaving or recently out of a relationship, it takes adjustment even if the relationship has ended for good reason and is better over.
Most of us are social people who want and need company, re-assurance and loving and with even the worst partners we get a degree of this which is why being on our own scares us.
With time we get used to the adjustment and begin to find our true selves again, we start seeing our neglected friends, going out and finding new ways of filling our time.
You will in time find someone who is more compatable to you and who is more in tune with you.
You need to listen to yourself and follow your own reason which tells you that the relationship is over for you at least and that the point to being with him is now loosing its value, so go with your instinct and finish it.
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