A
female
age
,
*lasyfide
writes:I am a 65 year old divorced female. I have found online "dating" awful. Recently a man I have known for a good length of time socially, and I have begun a friendship. We have attended movies and gone out to dinner, and he invited me on a walk to raise money for a charity. I really like him a lot and respect his intelligence as well as his sense of humor. We share a common world view and values, as well as similar musical tastes. Although he is approx 12 years younger than I am, there seems no age difference as far as I'm concerned. And, he gives YUMMY HUGS and always initiates them when we part!I feel as ignorant about how to proceed, and as confused as any teen or pre-teen.Things are going V-E-R-Y slowly. For one thing, he works approx 50 or more hours per week!Secondly, he is a very friendly person and has many friends he goes out to eat and to movies with, male and female (though the women all seem to be married!)I still have no idea whatsoever if he would ever entertain anything beyond friendship with me. We have spent zero time alone, except at the movies, so have not had any intimate conversations. I thus know NOTHING of his past dating (or marriage ?) past. I cannot imagine why such a nice looking and genuinely N-I-C-E, intelligent MAN would be alone! It is so very difficult for me to go so very slowly and NOT have these kinds of conversations with him! It is almost painful, but good practice, and i certainly do not want to scare him away as a friend if that is all he wants.My tongue is beaten clear through because my normal modus operandi is to be very direct and outspoken. BUT...I do not want to loose his friendship by something awkward.Do I dare say something like: "I really like and would like to spend more time with you and get to know you better" ??? for all I know he sees me as an OLD lady he's just being nice to...
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male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 Thats a bit of a tough situation your in. I really think if he just sees you as an "old lady" hes just being nice to he would not have taken you to the movies and would not be showing social interest in you.
The chances are he feels the same about you but as a typical man doesnt know how to communicate when it comes to making the initial move.
If he does like you in that way you should notice other small things, like he may touch you a lot more than normal or may call you out of the blue just to ask how your day went, hold doors open etc...
Age difference really does not matter when it comes to true love. We are all entitled to love somebody and be loved no matter what our age is.
The best advise I can offer is sometimes in life we need to take risks even if that means loosing friends and security.
I hope this works out for you, from what you say you would work well together as a couple.
By the way 65 is not old, your only as old as you feel.
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