A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 31. I don't love him but i don't want to leave him as i cant see him happy with another girl. How sad does that sound? He treats me so bad and puts me down all the time. We have a 2year old together and i don't think i can take much more of this; i dont want my little boy growing up without a dad but i feel this is all i can do. He's getting me so depressed from the time i open my eyes i get called a ugly bitch and a fat cow but i know i'm not fat as i weigh 6 stone but still its getting to me as iv stoped eating because of all this...What can i do? Please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): "I don't love him but i don't want to leave him as i can't see him happy with another girl."
I think you are intending to punish him... only by doing so you also punish yourself! Not to mention that the environment is also unbeneficial to your son who is exposed to the father's abusive behaviour and is liable to reiterate his mistakes later on, through parenting or relationships. How has the situation become so unbearable or has it alwasy been this way? Hardly ever acceptable. Maybe the child should stay with his grandparents for a while until the situation is clarified at home, if that is even possible. They say when there is a will, there is a way. Regrettably, when insults become normality it's hard to straighten the situation because usually the willingness is nonexistent in such stage.
All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): Awh honey, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all this. My heart goes out to you, it really does. But you've got to stop this man! I'm sure you're a wonderful person, pretty, and certainly don't sound fat! Don't let him get to you, because there's one guy out there that thinks your perfect. By the sounds of it, you havent met him yet, but there's somebody out there perfect for you. So it's time to get out there and find him! My advice to you would be to finish with him - yes, and quickly. He's calling you all these things and treating you so badly, and you don't deserve this! I, personally, am not going to let him get away with this! Lol if it takes me coming round his house and slapping it out of him, I will! He has no right to be so mean to you and upset you so much.
It's lovely you're thinking of your child, but as I say, there's someone out there for you that will be a wonderful father to your child. I'm sure you're a great mother yourself, and as long as your little boy has you, he'll be fine.
If you ever see him happy with another girl, then remember what he's like. I'd feel sorry for her if I was you, SHE has to put up with him - you escaped really! At the beginning, yes, it will probably be hard to see. But it always is honey. If you really feel that you can't let him go because of this, you've got to seriously seriously seriously talk to him, and tell him if he doesn't get his act together then its over for good. It seems to me like he doesnt deserve another chance, but I understand this is hard for you. But its the same with any relationship that ends honey, its hard, but you'll get over him, I swear.
So I'd say you finish it with him, because you honestly deserve more. Move on with your life, go out and meet new people, don't settle for second best! It's the easiest thing to do often, but its not right. If you do decide to leave him, then know I'm here if you ever need to talk about it or stress at someone - just message me. I wish you all the best okay :]
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