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I don't want to kiss my BF because of his bad breath! What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2014) 11 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So when me and my bf got together, there were no problems, 'cos we hadn't kissed until three days ago. When we kissed, I couldn't help gagging at how horrible his breath tasted. I didn't tell him, though.

So I played along. We kissed regularly and each time, his breath was horrible not getting better, probably more worse.

I don't know what to do! I mean, i can't just go, "hey, baby, don't kiss me your breath is disgusting."

Please help! It's gotten so bad that I try to avoid being near him! I'm 15, btw, he's 16, and i'm his first girl. But I don't want to break up with him!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2014):

i'm glad it all worked out for you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2014):

hey peeps! thank you very much for all your answers. i told him today. and no, i didn't go, "hey, baby, don't kiss me your breath is disgusting!" i just said, "fuzzy bear, i have a little issue with kissing you. see, the thing is, you don't taste too good. i think you should get it checked out." and he was totally cool with me. you guys were right. he did appreciate the truth. but TaylorSwift1Fan, i'll still take edible gifts just in case. haha lol thanks for all the answers. and Cerberus, your answer made me laugh when you said "you can le) him stick his ass flavoured tongue in your mouth." thanks xxxxxxxxxxx and one for luck, x!

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (20 February 2014):

Dear OP,

This is a very tricky thing, I understand. We are raised to be diplomatic and not to hurt other peoples feelings. And you're afraid he might be hurt and leave. But in this particular case, you NEED to be honest if you want to save the relationship. At least he will have the chance to change before you end it and he has no clue why. That would hurt him much more.

My experience is that sometimes in life, especially in relationships, you need to be blunt or else there are going to be misunderstandings. Bad misunderstandings. If you don't admit his breath stinks, you are going to have many situations he can't explain to himself, e.g. he might realize you avoid him without having a clue why. This will be hurtful and weird for him.

Maybe, thinking about it now, you could say it in a half-ways nice way by saying "I love you and would really like to kiss you, but your breath has been bothering me, can you do something about it?".

That way you criticize his breath, not him as a person.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014):

You're afraid he'll break up with you, but you're going to break up with him if he doesn't fix it? So it seems to me an easy choice, either you tell him or you keep letting him stick his arse flavoured tongue into your mouth until you can't take it anymore.

FYI: If a guy breaks up with you for being honest with him then he's not worth being with.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (20 February 2014):

YouWish agony auntBy 16, he should have that down pat. I decided not to date a smoker when I was your age for the same reason - his breath! You would be doing him a huge favor by being honest with him. Gentle, but honest. Tell him that he needs to do something about his breath if he wants to kiss you.

Does he visit his dentist? Does he know HOW to brush his teeth? You may not know the answer to that one. But he can learn, and breath mints, breath spray (avoid gum unless it's sugar free!), those dissolving strips, and of course, a good dose of germ-killing mouthwash in the morning Does he smoke or eat a lot of garlic?

Yeah, you should tell him. Don't say "Your breath is disgusting"...just say "You need to fix your breath before we kiss again" giving him an incentive to do it. Guys tend to do things for positive results. Clean breath means make-out city. You can do it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014):

toCerberus: don't call me a wuss! i find that very afencive. i asked for help, i didn't ask for insults. and i don't wanna tell him because i'm afraid that he'll break up with me if i tell him, for your kind information.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014):

Just tell him gently that he has a bit of a breath issue that makes kissing him unpleasant and will he make sure his mouth is fresh next time.

OP he's a guy, not a hypersensitive girl who takes things like that personally. You're his first, so teach him little things like this and don't be afraid to be honest with him.

I mean you seriously don't know what to do? You're so scared of honesty with him? You may aswell break up then, OP. What's the point in being with someone you're scared to talk to about things that are important? I was lucky enough that my first girlfriend wasn't a wuss and wasn't afraid to tell me that using my tongue like a washing machine while kissing was more annoying than it was hot. So I became better at kissing because she was nice enough to tell me my technique need to be improved.

If you'd rather break up than talk to him about it then that's not very nice, OP, because you probably won't tell him that you're breaking up with him over his breath and it may even ruin his next attempt at a relationship too if his next one is as much of a wuss.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014):

yes, do what sugarplum said, take mints. you could also take edible gifts to him that you both like the taste of every time you see him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014):

Its a ussual thing with teens, especially boys: bad breath.the reason for it poor hygiene.

He needs to heart it unfortunatelly . It's very easy fixable he needs to floss after each meal or even snacks.use mouthwash, and more importantly he needs to scrape his tong. They sell themin a stores : tong scrapers there is a lot of bacteria n a tong that can cause bad breath.

But you want to keep him he needs to hear it .

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (20 February 2014):

sugarplum786 agony auntHoney, carry a pack of mint sweet and when ever you meet over him, so when you do kiss its a breath of fresh mint.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (20 February 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Tell him the truth for both your sakes. He could have tooth decay or gum disease, which could be very dangerous to his health. He could be avoiding going to the dentist out of fear. But that is one fear he doesn’t want to mess with.

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