A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiNeed some help from fellow students. Sorry if this is a bit long winded but there's a lot to it and I really need some help.Ok, so I'm just finishing my first year university and am now looking for somewhere to stay for my second year. I've got a really good group of friends at uni and so I was planning just to move in with some of them. My two best friends are both doing years abroad for the second year so that rules them out and I've ended up looking at sharing with 3 other friends, 2 girls and a guy. At first it looked like a really good idea and I thought it was going well - we'd look for a 4 bedroom flat near uni, and split the rent 4 ways. This was all fine then last week we sat down to discuss what we need to look for in a flat. I suffer from 2 illnesses - h.s - which is a severe condition with my sweat glands which means I have to take really hot baths most nights and also post traumatic stress disorder which means I want to live somewhere thats not down an alley way as this will likely trigger my ptsd and I'll have a traumatic episode. I epxlained this to the poeple I'm meant to be sharing with and said a) I need a flat with a bath and b) I'd prefer somewhere quite in the open, maybe on a busy street - not somewhere far off the road. I also explained ot them that I know this meant that maybe it would be difficult to find somewhere and if they found this to be the case, I'd happily just go get a studio flat for myself. Money wouldn't be an issue as because of my h.s I am entitled to money from the government through a disability living allowance. I would use this to get a studio flat with a bath.However the people I am meant to be living with were a bit nasty about this saying that it mgiht make things difficult. I was a bit pissed off about this as neither of my conditions are exaclty optional and I had already said if it was gonigto be a problem, I could go it alone and that would be fine. On top of all this, I asked what was going to be the situation with pets as I was hoping we'd all just agree not to have them and it turns out the other 3 flatmates have already been planning to get a puppy. Not only do I have problem with this because of the barking will effect my ptsd, but also I dont think they've thought this through. None of us have seen our timetables for our second year so how can thy possibly know if someone is goingto be able to look after the puppy all day long? It's simply just a stupid idea. But when I tried to explain this to them they replied that 3 out of 4 of us wanted a puppy and that they were having to make sacrifices like having to find somewhere with a bath to accomodate me so I should have to accomodate them. I thought this was really unreasonable and quite nasty but didn't say anything other than I felt it was two different things because they only want a puppy, where as I NEED a flat with a bath.My problem is 2moz night we are all having a meeting - all of us who are looking to move in to this flat and I need advice about what to say to these people. They are my uni friends and I dont want to fall out with them over this, but I feel they are being unreasonable. I am simply not willing to move in to a flat with a puppy because of the noise, the smell, the destructio and also i have a suspicion it'll get dumped on me when they realise they dont have the time to look after it. If it does end up comig ot me getting a flat on my own, how can I say this without them taking it the wrong way and ruining our friendship?I need help here. I don't think they understand the difference between me needing a bath because of my health and them wanting a puppy simply because they want a puppy. I tried explaining the seerity of both my illnesses to them last time and I could see them rolling their eyes - I dont think they get how important it is. Please help. The two girls Im best friends with erealso there and they got qute annoyed about the whole thing as they too think its unreasonable. Help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Hello! This is only a brief reply but hope this helps a little bit at least. Im not sure where it is you are at uni, but are there private student halls in the city? That could be an option although they wouldnt allow pets, but neither would majority of landlords!! It is very unlikely that they'd be allowed a dog in a tenancy agreement...
Search online for lots of letting agencies and call them, find out the houses or flats from them that would suit what you want. You dont want to end up on your own or lose the friendships by falling out.
I would be upset and annoyed if my friends did not understand how important it was for having a bath... Good luck with it anyway!
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