A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a little confused. About my sexuality.I've always considered myself straight until now, now I'm just confused.Basically, I have a crush on a guy. He's brilliant and I like him a lot. I might even go as far as to say I love him. I have always liked gay people, gay men in particular. I have lots of gay friends. When I see them together with their partners they all have perfect relationships. I envy them. I found myself longing to be in a gay relationship. I'm not afraid or scared that I am bisexual, my family would have no problem, I am confident of that. I just don't want to hurt anyone in the process of finding who I am. I don't want to start seeing someone just as an experiment to find whether I am bi.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 April 2013):
 you are not saying you are attracted to women. You are saying you envy the relationships your gay friends have. This is not the same as saying you want a gay or lesbian relationship.
You want a GOOD relationship. Being gay or lesbian does not insure a good relationship.
so you want a lesbian relationship with a woman because your male gay friends have good relationships?
that's not a very good reason.
if you are not sexually attracted to women how do you think this will work?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): I am sure there are web sites that would introduce you to bi women. I don't know if that is what you want but it might be worth a try. Be careful when you do this so you don't become a victim and yes there are bi predators out there looking for in experienced and uninformed women. Maybe a one night stand might be enough to introduce you to this kind of relationship. But before that go on line and look at this stuff and what they do. Then at least you know what kind you want to try and when you meet someone you know what kind of bi experience you want for the first time. Your best insurance is knowledge about this alternative lifestyle and all that can go on. A close friend of my girlfriend thought she might be bi but after a couple of different one night stands she realized she didn't like women eating her out and trying to violate her with a strap on dildo. Good luck I hope it works out for you.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (22 April 2013):
Perfectly understandable.
Any introduction is an experiment of a sort, experimenting to find out if you like each other and are compatible. It might not work out and some-one might be upset by that, even if there wasn’t the issue of sexuality and confusion about one’s sexual orientation. All you can do is be completely honest with people that you’re not certain how you would describe your sexuality and it’s something you’re confused about. So long as you’re clear about that and make no promises for the long-term that you don’t know you could keep, nobody is going to be fooled. Why not try on-line dating and put in your profile that you are looking to meet other gay or bi women just to see how things go? That way you’ll filter out anyone who’s not prepared to accept the level of uncertainty you have, and those you meet will already know. Be safe, follow safety guidance, of course. But this can be a great way to communicate these difficult points.
I wish you all the very best.
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