A
female
age
26-29,
*lla-Leigh
writes: my friend was seeing this boy about a year ago and they were very close and pretty much boyfriend and girlfriend but they weren't actually going out. after about half a year this 'relationship' broke off, but they are still very good friends, but have no other feelings for each other. so we see each other quite often, i find him annoying and at times not a very nice person. but at a friends party we got pretty close and got on quite well, we were both drunk. about a week later everyone had found out that we kissed even though we said we would keep it a secret. our mutual friends hated me for it saying i was a bad friend but they didn't say anything about it to him. after a while they accepted my apology and put it behind them. my friend was very upset over the kiss which i understand, so as far as she knows i do not like him one bit. i still find him annoying and things, but when i see him i feel as if i have strange feelings for him. i don't talk to him that much because people say things but when i do we get on so well and have a laugh, i explained what my 'perfect boy' would be to a friend that didn't know about mine and his past and she said i described him exactly. and it is true.i'm unsure what to do about him, as i see him quite a lot with him being in the same group of friends as him.what can i do to stop myself from liking him to stop me from hurting my friend again?
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female
reader, Deagan +, writes (13 February 2012):
Girls and guys have this code- you don't touch your best friend's exes. You have broken this code, and it appears as though your friend has forgiven you. You can't afford to do this again if your friendship means anything to you. If you do it again, you break her trust and you lose your best friend. Do not talk to him. If he texts you, ignore it. Or if he persists, tell him your friendship means more, and insist that he stops texting you. Keep busy, focus on your friendships. Go out with your girlfriends, focus on a hobby. Don't get drunk, it looks like the last time you did you lowered your inhibitions and allowed yourself to kiss this guy. Don't get drunk to allow yourself excuses to do stupid things, it's very immature. I don't see how you can like this guy anyway when you say he's not even a nice person.
A
female
reader, BeckySmith101 +, writes (13 February 2012):
well, i think that you should do what you think is best. I know all the soppy answers would be that "if she was your freind, she would stick by you 100%" but we all know what happens when you do THAT. so My advice is speak to him and see what he thinks. If he doesn't like you the same way, think about the point of fancying him. if he seems to like you too, then you can maybe start a flirty friendship with him in private. If your friend did find out, confront her and ask why she is so defensive over this. if they broke up ages ago, then whats the point of her defending him?
All in all, screw her, do what you like!
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