A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya so I am 16 and have been going out with my boyfriend for around 3 months. Recently I have not been feeling the 'feelings' I used to towards him and we have been having multiple fights as well. It's very on and of. The thing is, is that when i kiss him lately I feel nothing. I'm just not ready for a serious relationship however he is. When we argue he becomes aggressive and has a very short temper, often puts the phone down. It gets me so upset and confused and I just want to cry when I finish speaking to him. I feel this relationship is stressing me so much that I have butterflies of worry every day. The issue is that I am friends with all his friends at his school, and we are a very tight nit group. I am worried that if we broke up it would become really awkward and that the group dynamics would change. As well as this would it be awkward if i later had a 'fling' with one of his friend? I don't want to hurt him at all I just am not happy in the relationship and I'm torn on whether or not to end it. Please Please help, I am so desperate for advice.
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (24 January 2009):
 This is quite a tangle and no mistake. On the one hand I wouldnt stay in a relationship I am unhappy in and feel I am not ready for on the other you have to be honest with yourself and say yes, of course it will change the group dynamics. There will be a period of chaos during which some of the group may side against you, try to reconcile you etc etc. If you have a 'fling' with his friend in the short/medium-term and you are caught one or both of you might be cast out of the group and the 'siding with him' scenario becomes more likely.
I would forget the idea of a fling for certain because it really is not worth the friends you may lose. Id only risk that kind of thing for something *alot* more than a fling. As to the relationship I would end it if this is truly how you feel but do it gentally, try not to be hostile and try and remain friends (something that might steady the ship of the group a little) but do not have a fling with another in the circle. Good luck :)x
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