A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I have a question. Me and my husband have internet on our phones. I always catch him looking at porn at least once a day.. We have sex probably 3 or 4 times a week even on days we do have sex I catch him. And he lies to me about it. I can know he is doing it and ask him and he lies to me about it. He says... no I'm not looking. Or I'm not on those webpages. I hate it. I've tried talking to him about it and it doesn't seem to work.So my question is. How much is too much porn?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Oh right thats not too unusual to be honest, "college" girls is very common niche, and I understand the need to see lots of different girls when looking at pics it's just a variety thing, I mean we men check out other women all the time, but when you could be looking at them it naked it's a lot better.
It's definitely not a reflection on you though and if it's not having a bad effect on your sex life or anything like that, I'd suggest you ignore it and just tell him to be more discreet about it, that you don't wanna know or see him doing it. I have to stress he is not comparing you to any of these girls that's not how it works. He's with you, he loves you, it's nothing more than a curiousity thing. It means nothing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell its just pictures. He looks at like girls our age. I'm 21 he is 22. I've tried to figure it out. I've tried to get him to look at girls more my figure and it always turns back to the "college" girl kind of things it seems.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Well if it is having a negative impact on your sex life it is too much, he shouldn't lie about it but he might be trying to spare your feelings. That's no excuse really but it might be the reason.
Have you tried finding out what his niche is? I mean porn comes in a lot of categories he might be just trying to satisfy a fetish he has (like cheerleaders/leather etc.), that he might be afraid to approach you with.
I wouldn't try completely banning him though, he's already lying and being sneaky about it banning it might make him worse, next time he's looking at it, join in, you might discover he's into things you didn't know about.
Don't think of it as a reflection on you though,porn is only there to satisfy a meaningless sexual fantasy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for the advice. We are both off of work tomorrow and I think I'm going to sit down and talk to him again about this! Thanks again!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I've tried talkin to him about it... telling him it makes me feel not good enough. Then it works for a little bit then its back to checkin it out. I wouldn't mind of it was with me and if he didn't lie about it.. And I've told him that. But what I don't understand is the looking at it "everyday" that I don't get.
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