A
female
age
41-50,
*hicken
writes:I'm a 30 year old pretty , well educated professional and am dating a 23 year old guy from Eastern Europe who doesn't have any 3rd level education but has plenty of other qualities that I love and enjoy - my problem is my Mum ; I told her about him when we started dating about 5 months ago but she dismissed it , immediately asking if he was a refugee ! We went on holiday together and got on really well but whn I came home my Mum never even asked how we got on and didn't really seem to want to know - things have moved on pretty quick between us now and we are now living together ; but my Mum doesn't know - it's making me sick and I hate lying to her ; because I feel by not telling her is lying in a way - his age , his job as a hotel porter , the fact we are living together . I know it sounds stupid at my age to be so worried about something like this but I just don't know where to start or how - this has to happen soon ; as in tomorrow - it's my birthday soon and I don't want to start another year full of lies and secrecy - any advise welcome thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Have a chat with your mum and put her in the picture, she deserves to know. Why lie about it, are you ashamed? i would get it out in the open, you may not like what she has to say, but listen and take it on board. She has been on this earth a lot longer than you and her wise words might put some things in prospective for you. You are looking at it through rose colours specs, she will highlight the truth.
take care
xx
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (15 October 2007):
You don't want to tell her because logically what you are doing makes no sense for your long term future. If you intend to jump into this tarpit, tell your Mum first and what you expect for your future. Your future need not be like the one she pictured for you. She may be sad but she will get over it.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 October 2007):
 I'd just tell her. Your a professional women, so you must be able to make decisions which are best for you. Love and relationships aren't determined by schooling or finances. I have friends here who earn a substantial income, who are dating and married to guys who's education and incomes don't equal theirs. I have a friend who works in construction, and his wife is a VP for a major computer manufacturer. He still works, but his incomes is 5 times less than hers. It doesn't matter to them because they love each other. Her success is personal, and isn't determined by social or economic status.
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