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male
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*nix_bitch
writes: Hello I am 14 years old. I have been dating this girl for 4 months 2 weeks and I have already proposed to her and plan to spend the rest of my life with her. She asked me a couple of nights ago to have sex with her soo I said yes. I'm highly a Christian and I don't want to go against my religion but I want to plessure her but I'm nervous. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006): ur gf may be jokeing around in some sence! me and my bf are around ur age (give or take a year or 2) and we talk about sex and other things like that all the time!! and we know that we both sorta want it......but i mean common!! were both 2 young and were not ready for that yet.......maybe you should check with your gf before you do anything.....make sure she really really wants it......and make sure you really really want it!
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 June 2006):
 Your girlfriend is asking you to do something that's against your religion, so my first thought is that you two aren't on the same page in your relationship.
Secondly, you've only been with her for a couple of months. You two should be doing things like studying in the library together, going to school dances and cuddling up with a movie on a rainy weekend. Marriage? Sex? Whoa, slow down...
You're taking this all too seriously. First, please understand that EVERYone who's EVER had a first relationship thinks that it's going to last forever. It feels like it should; you want it to feel that way for all time. But the reality is that one in a few thousand relationships lasts for life. It's a pretty small chance that a relationship you have at 14 will still be there at 24 (and a girl who makes you choose between your religion and her own pleasure doesn't sound like a long-termer, frankly).
Enjoy the feelings you have now, but don't be fooled into thinking you have to chip this relationship in stone. It's great and it makes you feel great. That's all you need to know at this time. Plan what you'll do at the weekend. Plan where you'll go next school holidays. But don't plan the wedding yet.
And as to having sex with her, slow down on that too. There's no rush and no prize, and if you do something that makes you feel guilty, you get to live with the consequences too. Re-read some of Martini's suggestions, but don't have sex until you're legal, and even then, give it a lot of thought.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006): Firstly, it depends where he lives. Second if they are the same or similar age, it wouldn't be considered rape, unless the laws dictate that.
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A
male
reader, lnix_bitch +, writes (13 June 2006):
lnix_bitch is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all soooo very much this has helped me talk to her about this
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): No offence, but that's illegal, and if her parents find out you will find yourself on the sex offenders register for raping a minor.
Think. Dont be so stupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): You don't have to penetrate her to pleasure her. You can keep your virginity and use other methods such as fingering her, giving oral sex, massaging her clitorious, and so on. Just do some research on the net.
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Don't do it. Never mind religion, you are too young for the emtional baggage that could come from having sex way too early. Not to mention, it's illegal. I think it's too early to propose too and make such lifelong promises, but IF as you say, you want to spend the rest of your life with this girl, what's the rush? You've got plenty of time and she shouldn't pressure you and understand and respect your wishes. Please please do not sleep with this girl, you can gain pleasure with each other in so many ways so please don't rush into anything. I don't know how old your girlfriend is, but if she's the same age, I'm concerned with her urge to have sex, if older, she should be acting more responsible with her younger boyfriend. Respect yourself and her by waiting.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Why on earth do you want to be having sex at your tender young age? What is the hurry? If you are a Christian as you say then stick to your faith and beliefs and dont comprimise them just cos your girlfriend wants sex. If she loved and respected you she would not make you do something that you know will compramise your beliefs. Dont go against your religion if you are not happy with this. xXx
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 dear reader STOP RIGHT THERE you are 14 years old why on earth are thinking about all this now you don't need all this at your age. you may think you are all grown up and yes you might be very mature for your age but not by any means are you ready for such a big commitment.
you really need to slow down be together yes but marrage?, sex.? what are you thinking???
i strongly advice you don't do this but if your not going to listen to me then please please PLEASE be carefull you don't want any unplanned/unwanted "little things" happening
i wish you the best of luck i hope you can keep me posted whatever happens xxx
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