A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i split up with my boyfriend two weeks ago and we are still in touch and often speak. he is going to his mates engagement party tomorrow night and has invited me to go with him and he said he would pay for my train there and back i am just scared incase he gets the wrong idea about me and him even tho i already told him nothing would happn. should i go or not?
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 Do not go.
No matter what you told him of it meaning nothing, he will take your actions to indicate that you DO want to be with him, even if you say you don't.
-Frank B Kermit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): hi hunnyits good that you've told him that nothing will happen. he knows where he stands. whether you go or not is up to you. ask yourself will you feel comfortable coz theres not much point going really if you're going to feel awkward. your ex obviously cares for you still but its good that you're still friends. this may be a good chance for you to finalise your feelings about him whether you defo wnt to just be friends or more. just while your at the party be careful of not over doing it on the alcohol because you'll become more vulnerable and your feelings about him may become hazy. so all im saying is go if you want but be careful and if you decide not to go then if you're just friends he should respect that. i dunno if iv helped but good luck hunny what ever you decide to do.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (29 June 2007):
 Thats a decision you will have to make on your own, you have told him nothing will happen, he might have taken that in and still wants you to go anyway because he feels comfortable being with you.
You could go and when you meet him just say to him, it's really good that we can still be friends and go out without it meaning nothing more, it keeps things friendly but gets your point accross at the same time.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): I don't want to tell you what to do but I am guessing it might be a bad idea to go to a party with him so soon after you broke up.
You don't just switch off your feelings when you break up with someone and that combined with alcohol and the party atmosphere, you never know where things could lead.
If you want to keep some kind of friendship with this guy then it might be better to give it some time and distance before you go to any parties with him.
So many people make the mistake of trying to be "nice" to their ex when actually they end up giving them the wrong idea. No matter what your feelings and desire to care for your ex or want to be friendly with him, you have to put how they may see that attention before your own need. Your ex (who you are still referring to as your boyfriend) probably still have hopes for something to happen with you, other wise he wouldn't offer to pay for your travel. With that in mind.. Do you want to go or not?
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