A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I am 21 years old and have had a couple short term boyfriends since I was 17. I used to be quite confident before I started getting boyfriends/male interest but I feel that as a result of bad experiences with the last boyfriend, my confidence has lowered a lot. I would like to find a new relationship but just don't seem to be able to! I have had one-date wonders with several guys in the last two years (after my last proper boyfriend) but did not get hung up on them when it all ended so quickly. I seem to still be affected by what happened with the last boyfriend.I do not want to enter into a relationship with a guy I meet on a drunken night out (even though that's kinda how I met my last boyfriend...) but I also do not, under any circumstances, want to use online dating sites. I am trying so hard to be happy single but it just seems so difficult!Any advice - I don't want to end up single for the rest of my life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Interesting post. It amazes me how much online dating has influenced our lives a href="http://hintcafe.com":)/a
A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (17 May 2009):
CALM DOWN lol you are only 21!!! You have so much time ahead of you. It may feel at moments that time waits for no one, it just passes, and fast, soon enough you will be 30, etc etc, but live in the moment and just relax.
Being single is not as bad as you may think. You said it yourself, before you even had boyfriends you were a confidant young woman. Why cant you be that way now? Take the lessons you learned from these relationships and restructure your outlook and standards in regard to what you are looking for in a boyfriend. Its like that old saying before you can love anyone you need to first love yourself.
I have been single myself for a long time, I have only had 2 serious relationships, and both have ended miserably. I wont lie and say being single is the greatest, but I will say this, it isnt the worst thing. Like you, I also avoid the internet as a means of finding love, although both my ex's were found that way. Maybe you arent exposing yourself in the right places to find possible suitors that could interest your intellect, or your general interests.
Just take it easy, and dont go out looking for love, it comes to you when you least expect it, in the mean time, again, love yourself, and get that confidence back, you'll be surprised how that can change the way people, especially men, view you.
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