A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help i dont want to do anything but be with my boyfriend! Im very much in love with my boyfriend! we get on great and seem to have an almost perfect relationship. He works, im at uni and do bank work. Other than this i find myself not wanting to spend time with anyone else. I purposely dont make plans with anyone incase he asks me to do something? I need to snap out of this but dont know how. Weve been together for over 5 years and i never used to be like this ive always holidayed with my friends and gone out clubbing without him every week but the past few months i just dont want to do anything unless its with him. I didnt realise today until I asked what he was doing tonight and he said 'nothing but why dont you see your friends instead you dont see them much anymore i feel like i am monopolising you' and then it hit home that i hate not being with him.He on the other hand has a boys night every wednesday, has been on two stag do's already this year and often has plans with friends or work colleagues, i dont mind this but often chose to work or complete uni work on these days. Im so confused. how can i begin to enjoy spending time with others again? And any idea why this has happened to me?
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 March 2012):
 First love becomes an obsesion especially to the youngest. Obsesions can become debilitating and need to be delt with before they consume you. No judgement here it is "normal" to want what you want but you must and apparently you have realized things for what they are. Good for you to at least reach out. I'd recomend a diversion or two like a vacation away from the constant contact. It will strengthen a good relationship and tend to heal a bad one.good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012): "And any idea why this has happened to me?"
Yes, you're displaying the exacxt behavior your controlling boyfriend wants from you and has been slowly programming into since you met. He wants you to be completely dependent on him to the extent you longer have a personality of your own, you are an extension of him.
You need to see a counselor and you need to start counseling NOW!
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