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I don't want to chase him!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I hooked up up with a guy about two weeks ago, on a friday night. I ran into him at the bar and went home with him. I ended up texting him on saturday night and we ended up doing it all over again (we did not have sex, just fooled around). He was in a 2 1/2 year relationship with his girlfriend, and broke up with her the day after. He said that they were having lots of issues (obviously if he cheated on her). So, I kinda really like this guy. I want to know how to approach this. I know he just got out of his relationship, so I am trying to approach this delicately. We have not spoken much since that weekend, and we don't really hang with the same friends so its not like I will run into him. I want advice on how to go about seeing him again. I texted him this past friday night but he was out of town, and havent talked to him since. I don't want to text him AGAIN this weekend because I don't want to seem like the chaser! Some of my friends say to ignore him, and they say it always works like a charm? I am wondering if this "ignoring" technique actually works. Basically, what would you do in this situation if you wanted to see him again, without being awkward/clingy/obnoxious? I don't want to scare him off! How do I get him interested in me! Haha

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009):

Too late, won't happen. His mind is totally somewhere else. Sure their relationship was on the rocks (obviously), but you think that he's now over it? Or that he's somehow magically going to bond with you?

He cheated b/c he cared about the relationship a lot but knew it wasn't going well and didn't have the competence to fix it, and at some point, he just didn't have the confidence to know whether it was broken beyond repair or not. So he did something stupid, and that made the decision for him.

But that didn't resolve any of his feelings.

You were exciting, you were there. You were fooling around.

But in his spare time, you are not what's on his mind. And you're not going to be.

Leave him alone. When he gets bored, he'll probably call you, b/c he's been in a relationship for two and a half yrs, so it's not like he's got much game or a lot of phone numbers in his little black book. But understand that this is not going to blossom into a relationship. This is going to be hooking up, and nothing more.

If you want something more, look elsewhere. Sucks, b/c it sounds like maybe you think you two could have been compatible. The timing is off. If you bump into him again randomly a year from now, maybe you can prove me wrong. Otherwise, not a chance.

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