A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When i'm with my girlfriend, i'm always looking for ways to break up with her. When we've split up I can't help stop thinking about her and wanting her back. Why is this?
View related questions:
split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 we always want wat we cant have!! it sounds to me that you arent in love with your girlfriend and wen you broke up with her it wasnt her that you missed but the whole idea of having a girlfriend. you obviously just dont like not being with someone and this girl is the easiest answer to this problem - dont get your feelings for her and your feelings for a relationship mixed up. break up with her and find someone that you truly love and want to be with for her - not just the idea of having a gf. do you understand??? if you wanna talk more feel free to email me ive been in a similar situation myself.
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Hi babe,
All i suggest is you honestly make your mind up, about what you want to do.. If the relationship doesnt appear to have a future ahead of it, then it isnt right, and you need to stop playin both yourself and your girlfriend..
I hope i helped =)
Mail me if you would like to talk x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): Somebody said "When you want what you cannot have it's time to start wanting what you already have." You lose interest in what you've already conquered, it's a problem of instability, which should have faded away in time, but maybe you haven't yet surpassed the phase of "experimenting?" However you're in the age category when others are looking forward to sustaining a family and thus run the risk of time. Has it happened in the past in previous relations? Maybe you're afraid of commitment, of responsibilities. If other women could hold your attention for good we could say it may be the fault of the current relationship not bringing you what you seek. But I rather tend to believe you feel depleted in the realm of a relation when you're to offer stability, why? It's hard for your partner that you keep running from and to, you're creating an emotional turmoil for her, and it will be hard for you to settle down, since you don't yet know what you want. I think you should analyse your desires, think of what attracted you to your partner, and try and predict the consequences of leaving her next time you will feel like it - will you again regret it? There's a saying, the ewer won't go on water many times. If you are so indecided your partner will not tolerate it infinitely. It could be the fault of boredom, of the routine. And it is of course much easier to escape than remain and build a firm ground. As I said, it's important that you don't act hastily and calculate the effects of your actions, yes, be premeditative. Effects and affects both. Ask yourself why you are doing this and how it will affect you. You must learn what you want. Most people wish for their partners to know them. I rember this film - "I really would be delighted if someone knew me, really knew me, what I like, what I'm afraid of, what kind of toothpaste I use bla bla" - do you ever want that? But how can they do it if you don't seem to know yourself what you want.
...............................
|
