A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:me and my bf broke up 2 months ago, he wasn't loyal he used to f___ around all the time and didn't respect me.. after 2months we started talkin seeing eachother again, and we're still in love with eachother.. im always in denial when i hear stuff about him sleeping around with girls i always convince myself that it isnt true, hes not only a cheater hes a liar too, last night he lied and i found out he had a girl in his house and he lied about it and we agreed on not keepin secrets or lying to eachother, he hurt me so much, he always tells me that no matter who he sleeps with or he goes out with i should know how i feel about him and that he loves me so much and he wants to end up with me in the future, one day he says we;re together and when he wants to go out with his friends and get drunk or get with girls he says no were not together, i tried so many times to let go and i cant i love him so much but hes making me sick, i can't sleep i can't eat i always feel sick when i imagine him sleeping with girls and always drunk. i can't get to know other guys because i really love him he gets to know new girls everyday! i dont wanna be wiith anyone but him, im not giving any guy a chance to even talk to me. i'm going crazy i love him to death but if he really loves me doesnt he have to sacrifice all this for me? i dont know what to do please help :(
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (25 July 2008):
I know that you don't want to hear "dump him." But really you should. I think it's easy for us girls to make up excuses for guys as to why their behavior is the way that it is. But you have to think of it this way: sure, you love him now, but you WILL get over him. You already know that he's a liar and a cheat. He obviously says the things that he says to you to keep you around and he KNOWS that if he tells you those things that you'll stick around. You can do one of two things: 1. Ignore him when he tries to contact you, if he wants to see you or talk to you, tell him you're "busy." This can actually make him pursue you further; however, he won't change and once he thinks he has you back again he will just continue to lie and cheat on you. 2. Tell him it's over. Tell him you're done playing the fool (because that's what he's making you look like) and that you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and doesn't lie to you.I know it's hard to break things off with someone that you love. But allowing someone to treat you that poorly is not loving yourself either. A breakup hurts, but being treated the way he's been treating you probably hurts MUCH more. If you choose to tell him that you want to break things off completely do not talk to him and don't agree to be his "friend" either. The feelings will still be there and you'll still be hurt. He's a jerk and you deserve better. In addition to that, you don't have to be with someone either. Being alone is actually A LOT less stressful and you have time for yourself and a lame boyfriend isn't an obligation.
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