A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, I've been seeing my bf for 4 years, we've been very close over the years, although not particularly intimate as he wouldn't stay over very often. because of this, when he wanted to move in last year I wouldn't let him until intimacy improved but it hasn't.He stayed over in February earlier this year and slept on the sofa until 7:30 the next morning and after that I haven't felt the same, haven't asked him to stay and can't help my feelings subsiding even though I used to love him so much, more than any other man!I feel now I don't want to see him anymore and want to break off the relationship completely but I have his 2 motorbikes in my garage and a spare room with several large items stored in it belonging to him. He has no place to keep his motorbikes or the large items and I don't know what to do. One of the motorbikes is brand new, only a few months old. He lost his father in February and I know this is having an effect on him, however, our relationship has been struggling with lack of intimacy and affection for several years and I don't feel I can take this anymore.He has nowhere to keep his belongings apart from my home. I've no idea how to go about moving on when he's keeping things at my house yet I only see him now when he's taking his bike out for a ride, he doesn't bother to contact me anymore either. The relationship is pretty much over. He's feeling bereaved and I am storing his gear and motorbikes yet I don't see him anymore, what should I do? I don't want to be unkind. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 I agree with WiseOwlE and Honeypie.The issues in this relationship pre-date his loss and the only contact you have with him is when he comes by to ride one of his bikes. It's over, so make it official so you can move on. Your home is not a storage facility.I suggest you speak to an attorney for advice on how to go about actually getting rid of the stuff if he delays. Instead of inviting him over for a talk though, I recommend you just send an email. Be brief, but not curt and stick to the facts. Give him a deadline to remove his things.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 May 2014):
 You might want to call him and let him know you need to talk. When you do get to talk (assuming he is willing to stop by) tell him you can't carry on and that he has 30 days to find himself another place to store his bikes and items.
You want more, he isn't willing to give (or able) so why waste more time?
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2014): He should rent a storage unit or find a family member with extra garage space, or a shed. If he's going to put this responsibility on you, he should give you money for storage; until he finds a place to park his bikes and store belongings. Either that, or sell them.
He can't use bereavement as an excuse to inconvenience you. He's using it as an excuse. One thing has nothing to do with the other. He'll leave his things as long as you don't say anything. In this case, it's simply at his convenience.
We can't use grief as a reason to take advantage of people.
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