A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently dating a Saudi guy (we are both studying abroad): he is an awesome person and hanging out with him is fun (on a mental level). We hang out, been a little physical (foreplay) but haven't gone all the way yet. I'm afraid that once we have sex, he will lose interest and move on to a new "toy". I have never dated a guy from a Middle Eastern country, but I hear that in most part they use western women for sex and practice. I only want a casual relationship, so what bothers me is not knowing if the nice things he says are sincere or just part of his tactics to get in my pants. He tells me things like i'm a cool person, i'm pretty, i drive him crazy (in a good way)... He takes the time to hang out with me, talk and get to know me, shares a lot about his life and sometimes i have the feeling he is a little jealous/possessive (like if i'm talking to a male study partner he will give some kind of subtle look our way). What makes me think he is a player is that he is one of those very social people with a lot of female friends, goes clubbing and gives me more compliments than to what I'm used to (which is almost 0). He calls me Sweety or Honey but i feel like he just calls me that because he's afraid of mixing up the names of other girls he may have on the side. He also told me after not even a month of dating that he loves me, but i think that it's just his groin talking. He's charming and treats me like a princesse, but I'm on my guards on an emotional level and take whatever he says with a grain of salt. On one hand, this feels like fantasy/fake which bothers me, however I have such a good time with him and enjoy the attention he gives me so for now I'm just trying to live in the moment. Thank you so much for reading this and if you can share your experiences on dating Middle Eastern guys!
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clubbing, jealous, middle eastern, move on, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (5 April 2013):
 You don't mention how long you've been dating, but clearly you aren't ready to go to the next level. There is a certain level of trust that hasn't been earned yet and I think deep down inside you know that. You are probably just too afraid that if you don't give in, he'll leave you, and hence your trepidation.
Every culture and nationality has their players. There are plenty of Saudi Arabian men who are kind and committed lovers. There are also plenty that see women as second class citizens. From your post, there is no way to tell what kind he is and what his history is like. And that is what the "getting to know you phase" is all about -- earning one another's trust and learning what one expects. He can talk a good game, but is he really the real deal is what you want to know.
I think in time you WILL know the answer. Like with any other man, you'll be able to pick up on vibes and attitudes that he gives out. Pay attention to your intuition and really reflect on why you feel the way you do. Perhaps he is too outgoing in his sexuality that is off putting to you. Is it nerves of finding the real deal or are you sensing something that is off?
Make a list and write down the pros and cons. Sometimes by seeing it on paper, you will get to the bottom of your doubts. But by all means, do not do anything that you will regret until that level of trust is reached (whether it be a formal commitment, a time period, or something else).
Eventually you will know in your heart when the time comes...
Eddie
A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (4 April 2013):
 If you don't learn anything else in this life, learn to trust your gut.If he's not already married and trying to play the field, he might have an arranged situation already in the works. In some cultures they definitely sticks to their own when it comes to real commitment. American girls are good for sewing their oats or playing around on their wives, but they're not risking dishonoring and being ostracized from their families for us. There's always the EXTREMELY RARE exception, but for heaven's sake always consider yourself to be the rule and never the exception unless shown to be otherwise beyond the shadow of a doubt.You say you "only want a casual relationship", but if you really didn't care, then you wouldn't be worrying about whether he's playing you or not. Be honest with yourself first, so you can be honest where this guy does or doesn't fit into your life. You do what's best for YOU. He's not your man, he has no hold on you, and if he wants to play the jealous role, then let him. He doesn't hold the title on YOU. He hasn't given you a ring, or even a relationship. Stay true to whatever it is your after, and if being played isn't on the agenda, then be extra wary of him.
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